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Thee Post When Yer Sober Thread

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Happy Cycler
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Might as well be.

Could drink vodka all night and stay stone cold sober. Nothing new.

Everything's a blur. Nothing new. Different, just different. A lot of terrible shit's changed it to some shade of....damp grey.

I can't keep going through these same old motions. Thought I'd hop on Twoism for a change since I don't come around much anymore (I'm not sure I'll be around any time soon again - thinking of just hopping on a boat and going wherever it takes me) and go into depth about life just to delete it all and leave behind yet another post ending with the word "thread".
Okay...now...wait for fog machine.

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Friendly Stranger
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So ber sober here. I like to drink till I am dead so then I decide to live again.

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Telepath
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Had a really inspiring shroom-trip yesterday. I'm now more sober then I've been all year. I forgot how important those little fellas are.
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Dayvan Cowboy
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Rodheh wrote:Might as well be.

Could drink vodka all night and stay stone cold sober. Nothing new.

Everything's a blur. Nothing new. Different, just different. A lot of terrible shit's changed it to some shade of....damp grey.

I can't keep going through these same old motions. Thought I'd hop on Twoism for a change since I don't come around much anymore (I'm not sure I'll be around any time soon again - thinking of just hopping on a boat and going wherever it takes me) and go into depth about life just to delete it all and leave behind yet another post ending with the word "thread".


Would you be willing to change certain daily habits as to what chemicals you ingest and which ones you could try not ingesting if I could promise you a strong sense of mental and physical warmth at the end of the tunnel.

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Happy Cycler
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Cupz wrote:Had a really inspiring shroom-trip yesterday. I'm now more sober then I've been all year. I forgot how important those little fellas are.


So jealous you Dutchies got 'em on tap. I'd love some shrooms right now, post us some? ;)
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Telepath
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fujee wrote:
Cupz wrote:Had a really inspiring shroom-trip yesterday. I'm now more sober then I've been all year. I forgot how important those little fellas are.


So jealous you Dutchies got 'em on tap. I'd love some shrooms right now, post us some? ;)


Take a train to Amsterdam and I got you covered. And I wouldn't say "on tap". Their legality is in the grey at best. It's sad though, the world would be a better place if everyone used them responsibly once in a while.
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Happy Cycler
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Lame. I didn't even get permission to be in here. That's how lenient security is.
Okay...now...wait for fog machine.

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New Seed
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Sober right now and will be more regularly coming up, pulling my way out of a nasty alcohol/painkiller habit right now and it sucks. But it sucks more to be hooked, so I guess I'm just coping with short term suckiness.
There was no reason for me to stay in the real world any longer. In the real world, it didn't matter if I was there or not. When I realized that, I was no longer afraid of losing my body.

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Dayvan Cowboy
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Komorebi wrote:Sober right now and will be more regularly coming up, pulling my way out of a nasty alcohol/painkiller habit right now and it sucks. But it sucks more to be hooked, so I guess I'm just coping with short term suckiness.


I wish you the best of luck. Remember that the Sobriety that you feel after the brunt of the withdrawal is over is *very* different to the sobriety you will feel after six months to a year of being clean. After the withdrawal, it might feel that sobriety is just negative, but that is just a lingering extension of the withdrawal.

You've clearly made a determination, something that can be difficult to do alone, and I think that your coming to terms with the facts of the situation is a really good sign.

I think the best method for you might be lowering your dose once every week/two weeks at such a small rate that it isn't noticeable. I was successful doing that with Codeine (something I used to get myself off of harder painkillers), a reduction of 15mg every week and a half and I could barely feel the withdrawal, I was just feeling a little less than 100% for a while which was more than manageable.

Sorry if I sound like I am lecturing you, I am really genuinely interested in your wellbeing, though. Good luck, and remember that determination and retaining a positive outlook is worth more than diamonds right now.

As for the alcohol, that can be something harder to kick than painkillers because it is much more of a psychological withdrawal than a physical one. Just know that true sobriety is a high in and of its self if you allow yourself to get to that stage, it can take a few months/ upwards of a year of "Sobriety" to get there though.

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New Seed
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Valotonin wrote:
Komorebi wrote:Sober right now and will be more regularly coming up, pulling my way out of a nasty alcohol/painkiller habit right now and it sucks. But it sucks more to be hooked, so I guess I'm just coping with short term suckiness.


I wish you the best of luck. Remember that the Sobriety that you feel after the brunt of the withdrawal is over is *very* different to the sobriety you will feel after six months to a year of being clean. After the withdrawal, it might feel that sobriety is just negative, but that is just a lingering extension of the withdrawal.

You've clearly made a determination, something that can be difficult to do alone, and I think that your coming to terms with the facts of the situation is a really good sign.

I think the best method for you might be lowering your dose once every week/two weeks at such a small rate that it isn't noticeable. I was successful doing that with Codeine (something I used to get myself off of harder painkillers), a reduction of 15mg every week and a half and I could barely feel the withdrawal, I was just feeling a little less than 100% for a while which was more than manageable.

Sorry if I sound like I am lecturing you, I am really genuinely interested in your wellbeing, though. Good luck, and remember that determination and retaining a positive outlook is worth more than diamonds right now.

As for the alcohol, that can be something harder to kick than painkillers because it is much more of a psychological withdrawal than a physical one. Just know that true sobriety is a high in and of its self if you allow yourself to get to that stage, it can take a few months/ upwards of a year of "Sobriety" to get there though.


Thank you for responding to me, it's something I've rarely been open about until recently. I had a hernia operation when I was 21 and they put me on codeine, gave me much more than I needed and I ended up using them way after I should have stopped, the anxiety relief was a massive aspect of it for me. Sadly it ended up snowballing and I started using every other day around the time I was turning 23 and my thoughts and actions began veering towards other opiates and it's been in the last few months that it's dawned on me what direction I was going in. Needless to say, reality hit me with a tonne of bricks.

The thing is, I know there's no shame in it, as it's more of a health/mental health issue than anything else, but sadly that didn't stop me feeling that way. So it became a cycle of use > guilt > anxiety > use > guilt, so on and so forth. There are so many factors involved it's like trying to untangle christmas lights. I'm a person who naturally has an addictive personality and a nervous disposition, things I denied throughout my late teens and early 20s but I've recently began to come to terms with. I'm doing pretty well and thankfully the physical symptoms have began to ease off quite quickly, but it's hard to describe how gray and drab everything feels right now - but temporary malaise is alot better than what I could be throwing away long term if I kept on that road.
There was no reason for me to stay in the real world any longer. In the real world, it didn't matter if I was there or not. When I realized that, I was no longer afraid of losing my body.

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Have to stay off the beer at the moment. I've been on a cocktail of painkillers for a few months now due to a slipped disc in my lower back. Also had an epidural a week ago for the same reason and since then my old anxiety issues, which I've worked damn hard to control, have been like a yo-yo. Found out that Gabapentin, one of the drugs they put me on for the pain, is not only addictive but used to treat people with bipolar, so has a massive affect on mood too. Fun times!

So watching England win on penalties last night was a little like being put through a blender. Still....GET IN!!!! :-)
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Happy Cycler
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Too much, too so.

I've got a feeling everyone's got their head made up...of salt.
Okay...now...wait for fog machine.

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Mexicola wrote:Have to stay off the beer at the moment. I've been on a cocktail of painkillers for a few months now due to a slipped disc in my lower back. Also had an epidural a week ago for the same reason and since then my old anxiety issues, which I've worked damn hard to control, have been like a yo-yo. Found out that Gabapentin, one of the drugs they put me on for the pain, is not only addictive but used to treat people with bipolar, so has a massive affect on mood too. Fun times!

So watching England win on penalties last night was a little like being put through a blender. Still....GET IN!!!! :-)

Ouch. I know a few people who have had slipped discs and lower back problems. They sound dreadful. If you need to talk through any anxiety issue or just have someone to keep you occupied...I'm a FB message away!
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Thanks my friend, much appreciated. It calmed right down now I'm back on the tablets. Feel fine. :-)

The back has also settled down. Annoying as I had to postpone Winspit, but it was the correct thing to do. Looking forward to Aug 25th. Hopefully the weather will be as awesome as we have now, it's red hot.
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Mexicola wrote:Hopefully the weather will be as awesome as we have now.


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Komorebi wrote:
Thank you for responding to me, it's something I've rarely been open about until recently. I had a hernia operation when I was 21 and they put me on codeine, gave me much more than I needed and I ended up using them way after I should have stopped, the anxiety relief was a massive aspect of it for me. Sadly it ended up snowballing and I started using every other day around the time I was turning 23 and my thoughts and actions began veering towards other opiates and it's been in the last few months that it's dawned on me what direction I was going in. Needless to say, reality hit me with a tonne of bricks.

The thing is, I know there's no shame in it, as it's more of a health/mental health issue than anything else, but sadly that didn't stop me feeling that way. So it became a cycle of use > guilt > anxiety > use > guilt, so on and so forth. There are so many factors involved it's like trying to untangle christmas lights. I'm a person who naturally has an addictive personality and a nervous disposition, things I denied throughout my late teens and early 20s but I've recently began to come to terms with. I'm doing pretty well and thankfully the physical symptoms have began to ease off quite quickly, but it's hard to describe how gray and drab everything feels right now - but temporary malaise is alot better than what I could be throwing away long term if I kept on that road.


There is no shame in it in reality. You aren't harming anyone but yourself when you use. I am pretty astonished, from what you have said, as to the extent of your progress. It sounds like you have gotten yourself through the brunt of the Withdrawal like a champ, taking it head on. That is certainly braver and more difficult than anything I managed to do when coming off of the stuff a few months ago.

When I was in the stage that you are in at the moment, the negativity after the primary withdrawal is over, I started to think of being able to sleep at the end of the day as a reward, as a kind of drug in its own way. It helped in the sense that regardless of how difficult things were during the day, I could look forward to a warm bath and a comfortable lie down in the evening. It seemed to really help in replacing that sense of something to look forward to, a reward of some description.

PS - Sorry for the late reply. I've had a rather busy week

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I've had an issue with a disc in my neck for a very long time such that I have a pinched nerve. Same deal, including trigger point injections and three epidural injections over a number of months. I'm sent back and forth between orthopedic doctors and psychiatrists MRI after x-ray etc. being told there was/n't actually something wrong. About 2013, 2014 my shrink could not prescribe painkiller to me anymore other than muscle relaxants such as soma and tylenol #3s (codeine being illegal OTC in the US for...I have no idea looking at all the other shit that is legal) which, suffice to say, don't really do a whole lot. Since then, I've had MRIs on my brain as well as x-rays of my upper back as my right shoulder blade seems to get a sharp stabbing sort of thing every now and then along with back/neck/headaches and I'm not even sure what's wrong anymore.

That medication (gabapentin, or Neurontin) was prescribed to me as well when I began entertaining that it could be fibromyalgia or some other kind of nerve pain, meanwhile, I'm continuously told that I do have a disc issue in the neck/pinched nerve(s), and again, referred to doctors who run more imaging that conclude either nothing or that it's negligible and would not be the source of the headaches that I experience almost every day or the unusual tenseness in my neck to the extent that slightly rubbing it (i.e. a massage) is painful I've felt for at least 10 years now. About two years ago, after gabapentin did nothing, I tried pregabalin (Lyrica) which is similar/owned by the same chemical manufacturer. There's no generic so it costs entirely too much. I only use it twice as similarly, it did not seem to do anything for me. To this day, I still have no clue where the pain comes from exactly.

Anyway, yes, those medications can really interfere with mood as their mechanisms of action are GABA related, though I forget what exactly they do. Though understandably, alcohol can worsen it. Also, IIRC, you take (or have taken) the same antidepressant I've taken for years, which too interacts as most SSRIs will.

Hope your situation pans out to be temporary. Feel better, Mexi.
Okay...now...wait for fog machine.

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Hey, thanks Jonse. That means a lot to me man.

Yeah, I'm much better but I need to speak to my specialist first the end of the month about my back. Looks like the epidural worked (but holy fuck that needle could have javelined a horse), but then it's time to see my doc about what to do about the meds.

You're right though, alcohol does affect it. I've noticed this so I'm laying off it. That said...semi-final tonight. I'm gonna need a drink ha ha.

Cheers!
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No problem.

Oh shit, I posted in this thread with a bit of vodka in me....damn, well if something happens tell everyotttttttttttttttttttttttttttbfn
Okay...now...wait for fog machine.

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Kinda funny, and not funny at the same time. It seems the three of us have more in common than I'd previously realized. Us old fellas with our aches and pains and prescription history.

I've come to the conclusion that 95% of doctors are idiots and I do not like medication.

Keep on top of your doctor regarding both what you are being prescribed and how much each dosage each is at and EXACTLY how it is affecting you. Every person is unique and doctors tend to overgeneralize.

I went from 12 prescriptions of things like Tylenol 4s (before quitting, I was up to taking 4 to 5 at a time 4x per day), Gabapentin, Lyrica, some muscle relaxant, antidepressants and antipsychotics, to having 0 prescription meds. I'm pretty happy about that.

I now take a vitamin supplement specifically built to balance brain chemistry to help my bipolar. I still have my moments, but it's waaaay the heck better than being a medication induced zombie. And if I always remember to take them, those moments are very very minimal.

For my pain, I've learned after 20 years of chronic pain to not let it bother me so much, but exercise does help a lot. Also beer lol. When it's a pain that's not causing me injury, I don't let it limit me. I can either sit at home and be in pain or go work or go have a good time and be in pain. Either way I'm in pain, so I might as well do something that will give me a sense of accomplishment. Doing nothing for 10+ years convinced me of that.

Oddly enough, working at a lumber yard, I was in less pain piling ridiculous amounts of lumber 44hrs per week than I was the weeks before sitting around doing nothing. That is excluding the first 2 weeks of piling because good grief going from doing nothing to piling around 20,000lbs+ (~9000kg+) of lumber per day makes a fella a bit sore. Of course I ended up throwing my back out after working there a few months. Chiropractic visits and regular back and neck stretching as ordered by a kinesiologist helps.

I'm making do ok lately. I'm finally getting my life in order. I may even have my license and a car for the first time in my almost 32 years of life by the end of this year!

Jonse, Mexi, Komorebi, Valotonin, I really hope you find what works for you. One day we'll meet up for a pint or several. 8)
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