The Anxiety Thread

[Echo the Sun]

Depression thread I seldom post in for the simple (and yes, harsh truth) that there are people who will try to 'talk down' the very same people they would otherwise not give a flying fuck about on a daily basis. .

What do you mean by "talk down"?

[Aerial Boundaries]

Depression thread I seldom post in for the simple (and yes, harsh truth) that there are people who will try to 'talk down' the very same people they would otherwise not give a flying fuck about on a daily basis. .

What do you mean by "talk down"?

When people express suicidal ideas (which isn't really the same as fully intending and planning to commit it) the response is usually designed to stop them from thinking about it, which intuitively makes sense but is often just annoying or infuriating.

[Echo the Sun]

Depression thread I seldom post in for the simple (and yes, harsh truth) that there are people who will try to 'talk down' the very same people they would otherwise not give a flying fuck about on a daily basis. .

What do you mean by "talk down"?

When people express suicidal ideas (which isn't really the same as fully intending and planning to commit it) the response is usually designed to stop them from thinking about it, which intuitively makes sense but is often just annoying or infuriating.

Right. So he's frustrated because strangers generally only show concern for each other when the situation is dire?

[Valotonin]

It depends on the stranger.

I've learned that a lot of people are just waiting to talk, but are too scared and aren't able to instigate conversation.
I was on a train to London the other week and an elderly kenyan man was sitting opposite me, he made small talk which I found to be comforting as it is generally quite rare and he revealed that he is a microbiologist. I began asking him questions about the use of Garlic in treating serious infection and he responded positively, most likely relived that the average youngster sitting opposite him hadn't lost sight of traditional medicine and began talking about Chinese medicine etc and other people in the train sitting nearby became gradually involved in the conversation until there were about five people sitting around me talking about medicine with the biologist man. Once that initial barrier is broken, you'd be amazed at the responses.

Although the daily bullshit and lack of expression or conversation from total strangers makes everything seem sterile, soulless people they are not and if the right situation arises many will speak to you as a friend.

Its an old human fight-or-flight variant that says that anyone not from our recognised tribe (people we know) we should be immediately suspicious of and fearful of. We used to overcome that through small talk but that is getting rarer.

Don't be afraid to say hello to people, if they respond negatively, remember that it is their problem and not yours and move on.
Saying hello to strangers isn't a crime... yet.

[Echo the Sun]

Don't be afraid to say hello to people, if they respond negatively, remember that it is their problem and not yours and move on. Saying hello to strangers isn't a crime... yet.

hello

[Valotonin]

hello

Hello !!

[Echo the Sun]

hello

Hello !!

Me:
You:

[Jonse]

So he's frustrated because strangers generally only show concern for each other when the situation is dire?

Never been frustrated.

Disappointed.

Not strangers, too. Often friends/those I'm at least acquainted with well. It is disappointing when there's overtones of insincerity to it.

[Echo the Sun]

Never been frustrated.

That sounds hyperbolic, which makes me suspect you're being defensive. Is there something about the feeling of "frustration" that you are trying to distance yourself from?

Not strangers, too. Often friends/those I'm at least acquainted with well. It is disappointing when there's overtones of insincerity to it.

I'm not sure how those overtones would be perceivable in an online setting. I'd recommend taking what people say at face value when there is no reason to believe they intended it to be read otherwise. In real life, sometimes people can't deal with other people's problems and their own at the same time, so they can come across as insincere at those times. Also, some people are not very self-aware. They may be feeling empathy, but showing something else. Do you always show sincere concern for others? Likely not. No one can be fully on all the time. Give people the benefit of the doubt and you may start to see the value in threads like these.

[Jonse]

I mean in this particular context. Specific events and scenarios. I don't have the energy to be defensive about it. One scenario involved a Twoismer throwing a name I used to go by out here in a public thread and responding without context about completely unrelated shit that happened on another website and if I were defensive about this kind of stuff I'd have called them out for it.

I didn't. I'm not going to invade privacy or bore everyone with a wall of text contextually unrelated to the thread.

Similar to what I was going to say responding to you re: depression. I literally can't call the emotion I feel "depression" or "apathy", it's some odd mixture of the two. That's in another thread and I will go over it later (yes, I self-evaluate, entirely too much, I fear) when I have the time.

Anyway, I never said anything about "in an online setting". There's a lot more to what I'm saying than whatever I suppose you inferred though as Techboy reminded me, I am inarticulate when it comes to this sort of thing and this is why I don't try to drag other people into it.

It's hard to take others at face value when you can no longer believe your own self and your perception. Re: concern, I try exorbitantly, which maybe only manifests as showing concern when I'm helping homeless people or paying for someone's [everything] because they need it at the time though it can also be read as "HURR HURR LOOK AT ME I DID X FOR Y PAT ME ON THE BACK BECAUSE I'M A SAINT" so I downplay how much it happens. In no way trying to seem aggressive or defensive here though the last thing I need is to be reminded to give the benefit of the doubt to people. I do to a lot of people and as of late one in particular continues to harass me, though that is another stupid, long story about the disgruntled owner of a store in the mall near my house and the attitude problems that have yielded him 2 star reviews on Google and Yelp.

[Echo the Sun]

Anyway, I never said anything about "in an online setting".

I was referring to the fact that you are reluctant to post here.

It's hard to take others at face value when you can no longer believe your own self and your perception. Re: concern, I try exorbitantly, which maybe only manifests as showing concern when I'm helping homeless people or paying for someone's [everything] because they need it at the time though it can also be read as "HURR HURR LOOK AT ME I DID X FOR Y PAT ME ON THE BACK BECAUSE I'M A SAINT" so I downplay how much it happens. In no way trying to seem aggressive or defensive here though the last thing I need is to be reminded to give the benefit of the doubt to people. I do to a lot of people and as of late one in particular continues to harass me, though that is another stupid, long story about the disgruntled owner of a store in the mall near my house and the attitude problems that have yielded him 2 star reviews on Google and Yelp.

Well, I'm glad you try to give people the benefit of the doubt. And I'm sorry you haven't found many people to talk sincerely with you about these things. I do know, however, that there are many users on here who sincerely care for their fellow users and want to help them out.

[jcnporter]

It depends on the stranger.

I've learned that a lot of people are just waiting to talk, but are too scared and aren't able to instigate conversation.
I was on a train to London the other week and an elderly kenyan man was sitting opposite me, he made small talk which I found to be comforting as it is generally quite rare and he revealed that he is a microbiologist. I began asking him questions about the use of Garlic in treating serious infection and he responded positively, most likely relived that the average youngster sitting opposite him hadn't lost sight of traditional medicine and began talking about Chinese medicine etc and other people in the train sitting nearby became gradually involved in the conversation until there were about five people sitting around me talking about medicine with the biologist man. Once that initial barrier is broken, you'd be amazed at the responses.

Although the daily bullshit and lack of expression or conversation from total strangers makes everything seem sterile, soulless people they are not and if the right situation arises many will speak to you as a friend.

Its an old human fight-or-flight variant that says that anyone not from our recognised tribe (people we know) we should be immediately suspicious of and fearful of. We used to overcome that through small talk but that is getting rarer.

Don't be afraid to say hello to people, if they respond negatively, remember that it is their problem and not yours and move on.
Saying hello to strangers isn't a crime... yet.

I'm not particularly well travelled, but in my experience this is very location-dependant, as in, you would get very different reactions even in different parts of the UK to an attempt to start a conversation with a stranger.
As it is, on a train to London, you were in just about the worst location in the world to try it, so fair dues to you!

[Gazebo4]

I accidentally stumbled upon this thread. It really looks like you should listen to Eckhart Tolle's 'Gateways To Now'. Especially the first part called Introduction. It is on Spotify, you just need to create an account if you don't have one.

I suffered a major depression too for some years, dealing with almost unbearable shame, anxiety, etc. and the only thing I can say is and I know it sounds strange, but in hindsight you will thank all the suffering and bullshit you are going through. It's a sign that it is time to wake up, to surrender. Looking back now I see it as a pure blessing.

Now do yourself a favor and have a listen. And don't try to understand it with your mind or make a concept out of it, just let it sink in and listen. It is not something to believe in. Beliefs are useless, only "knowing" sets you free.

[ShaneAnthony]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=voIprW-gxXk

[Jonse]

phpBB [media]

[SamuraiDrifter]

Hey, looks like my thread! I've just started therapy after years of suffering with crippling anxiety and depression. Was just referred to a psychiatrist to look at getting medication, so I'm pretty excited about the possibility of not feeling like shit.

[Gazebo4]

Thought I'd copy paste this here.

http://www.lifewithoutacentre.com/writings/depression-the-open-secret/


Depression: The Open Secret

Do not run from sadness. It may contain medicine.

I often get excited when someone reports uncaused and inexplicable sadness, seemingly unrelated to their life circumstances. I see sadness, like all the other waves in the ocean of life, as an invitation, an invocation, a calling to open up to deeper truths about existence, to recognise our inherent vastness.

Life is bitter-sweet. However beautiful things are right now, they will pass. Everything is impermanent and groundless. You will die, at least in this incarnation. Everyone you love will pass on. Your success may turn to failure. What you have, you may lose. Your body will cease to function in the way it does now. Nothing is certain, everything is cast into doubt. The water of relative existence slips through our fingers so easily. Our joy is tinged with sadness. Our bliss is pierced with nostalgia. The yin and the yang of things won’t let you settle on an independent opposite. There is no home for the homeless here.

Contacting this deeper, bitter-sweet truth of existence, encountering the raw ground of being, unprotected and unprepared may initially present as melancholy and even despair, but that existential disturbance may contain unlimited riches.

At the point of despair, when the ground falls away from under our feet and our lives spin out of control (were they ever ‘in’ control?), we are often medicated, or we self-medicate, with pills or sex or alcohol or meditation. Science would like to reduce our existential human predicament to the dysfunction of brain chemicals, easily remedied with a few innocent pills prescribed by someone with a hard-won certificate. And perhaps those theories have validity – through certain lenses. But there are so many other lenses. Infinite lenses. There are myriad sides to this diamond of human experience, and it would be a shame to reduce ourselves to chemicals or neurons.

If Jesus had taken anti-depressants on the cross, he – and we – would have missed the point.

Perhaps our depression is not a sickness (though I will never argue with anyone who wants to defend that view) but a call to break out, to let go, to lose the old structures and stories we have been holding up about ourselves and the world and rest deeply in the truth of who we really are. Conventional wisdom would have you turn away from melancholy rather than face it. Well-meaning friends and family and self-help gurus may want to fix you, to get you ‘back to normal’, to make you more ‘positive’, whatever that means. What if the ‘normal’ no longer fits? What if you need to shed your half-shed skin, not climb back into it? What if sadness, and pain, and fear, and all of the waves in life’s ocean, just want to move in you, to finally express themselves creatively and not be pushed away?

What if you are not nearly as limited as you were led to believe you were? What if you are vast enough to hold and contain all of life’s energies, the ‘positive’ and the ‘negative’? What if you are beyond both, an ocean of consciousness, unified, boundless and free, in which even the deepest despair has a resting place?

What if your depression was simply you calling yourself back Home, in the only way you knew how?

~Jeff Foster