need advice please

[reed17]

Hello, I am sorry for being in minor breach of the board rules but I would rather not use my primary account for this. I hope an exception can be made in this case. Seeing as there are quite a few people present with all kinds of experience in different fields and with different life conditions, I was wondering if anyone could offer advice on something medical that at first seems trivial, but once one gets into the details it is apparent that it could ruin any chance I have at a normal life.

I fall asleep an hour later every night. I know people with real sleep disorders, with insomnia etc and I am not trivializing those, but this is genuinely affecting my life and has done since I hit puberty so getting on for fifteen years.

It doesn't matter if I set an alarm for the same time every morning, I will still sleep an hour later each night until I am getting almost no sleep at all. I can do a temporary reset by pushing myself to stay awake straight through, but it is a real stress on my body and it will start drifting again instantly as soon as it is resolved so it doesn't seem worth it. I can go and lie down in the dark hours before I fall asleep, but it will still be approximately an hour later until I do. I can cut out my coffee, cut out my sugar, have a warm bath, read a book, switch off the lights, have warm milk and honey, but it will still be an hour later.

When left to its own devices I just go around the clock. This makes finding employment incredibly hard for me and I am lucky that I had a grandfather who left me some emergency money. I have missed countless appointments, interviews etc as a result because I can't plan things more than a week in advance or else I won't know when I am sleeping. Usually I stay awake for such things now, but in the case of interviews it means ruining it due to fatigue. If I were to secure the job, I would ruin it within a couple of months for the same reason. When I was working at a warehouse, I genuinely tried my best, I want to work and to be a productive member of society at the same time as people viewing me as "lazy" or telling me to try reading a book before I sleep like I haven't had more than a decade of trying everything in existence. I have no qualifications and all work experience I have is short lived by definition (I tend to resign before I get fired), it ruined school for me despite my good predicted grades.

Genuinely, what are my options?

[Radiobuzz]

How old are you? Do you smoke weed? If not, have you tried to?

[reed17]

Thank you for the reply and the suggestion. I no longer smoke weed for other reasons, but not all that long ago I was a fairly heavy toker and on a daily basis. It didn't do much in the way of helping me adjust the pattern, but I would sleep well when I did eventually get to sleep. I have tried just about every drug in the catalogue. I am 23yrs old which is older than I feel considering I am still living like a teenager.

[reed17]

I am usually someone to offer others advice and to keep generally quiet about small issues, so I feel kind of bad making a "PLZ HELP!!!!11" thread, but I am just out of ideas and very open to suggestion at this stage.

[Radiobuzz]

I guess I would try with CBD oil if you don't want to smoke or don't want the psychoactive part of cannabis. It may help you without getting you high. Sorry I don't have any better advice!

[reed17]

That's okay! I appreciate your input and there is research showing how helpful it can be with sleep disorders. I did try smoking weed to address the issue and I was a recreational smoker for a handful of years. It didn't help, but it made my sleep more restorative when I did sleep.

[vballs]

I have regular bouts of insomnia caused by racing thoughts and anxiety, I know it can take its toll.

Simple meditation when getting into bed can help also Ive found audio books are good too. Somtimes what works for me is watching some boring documetary on my phone.

Perhaps the best advice ive been given that personaly helped me a lot is to only associate bed with sleep, sounds silly but if you get into bed just becuase its "bed time" when you are not tired or you simply lie there awake trying to sleep for hours you are kind of disacociating your bed with somehere you go when you are really ready for sleep and instead it becomes somwhere your body associates with just doing nothing.

If you realise you are not getting any sleep anytime soon, dont worry about it, dont think about sleep just get up and do stuff; like draw, write, bake a cake, just go about living your life and really try not to worry about not being asleep. Then only ever go to bed when you know its really time to sleep, eventually your body clock may reset. Try to make friends with the situation and fill your awake time with activites and hobbies. This way of thinking has worked wonders for me but then we are all different and get insomnia for different reasons dont we? I know you said you tried everything in existence but just thought id tell you my experience.

Going down the medical route, diazepam has also worked wonders for me in the past but that isnt really somthing you want to get hooked on or any other drugs for that matter.

What has your doctor said about your sleeping problem?

[adecentman]

When it comes to resolving sleep issues, exercise is definitely one of the first thing that comes to my mind -- do you have any sort of exercise routine in your life? On nights where I have trouble sleeping I often feel like it's related to not having used up enough energy during the daytime to feel properly exhausted at nighttime. Biking is my preferred method of kicking my own ass, it's free & feels great to go on a long trek, plus the endorphins probably help a little with sorting out internal chemistry.

Another approach is diet. I'm not a strict vegetarian but at the same time I eat relatively little in the way of meat compared to most folks (maybe about 1-3 meat servings a week), and while I don't personally struggle with lack of sleep I have researched my diet & learned that a common side effect of low-protein diets (especially those low in animal proteins) can result in sleep issues.

A non-addictive method of promoting sleep is through aromatic essential oils. When I had a sinus infection a few weeks ago and was having a ton of trouble getting to sleep, but I noticed a marked improvement when I would rub this essential oil on my collarbone before heading to sleep: http://pranarom.us/products/wellness-blends/sleep-aid/
Granted, this company's products are pretty expensive because their oils are just about as pure as you can get (part of the appeal for me), but if you're on a tight budget, they list their ingredients (Lavender, Spikenard, Clary Sage, Vetiver, Roman Chamomile, Orange Sweet) and so you could probably find an alternative at your local health foods shop with similar ingredients.

Lastly, I've had mixed results with playing music at night to help me sleep, but certain tracks that I associate with sleep sometimes can help me get into a rhythm. Back in college when I was having more problems with sleep I would make a little sleep playlist with Aphex Twin's 'Stone in Focus' going into Stars of the Lid's 'Even If You're Never Awake' and play it at a moderate volume as I was getting ready for/getting into bed, and it would definitely chill me out and get me into the sleep routine, kinda like another perspective on what vballs was suggesting.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and I've found that herbal teas work way better than milk+honey in my experience. Straight chamomile tea is a classic, and Holy Basil is another great option that has been used for ages: https://shop.organicindiausa.com/Tulsi- ... sions@Bags -- Good luck!

[reed17]

I just wanted to say thank you. There are quite a few new ideas presented that I hadn't tried in the past and it gives me something to work towards for now. I am not sure what else to say other than I know that it took everyone a long time to write out their suggestions thoughtfully and I assure you that that time wasn't wasted and wasn't unappreciated.

[reed17]

My doctor seems to agree that it is a genuine sleeping disorder, but the list he presented me with of action to take are things that have all been tried and tested for me. Everything on the list I have done twice. As I don't want sleeping pills (they are a temporary solution and becoming tolerant to a Z drug or Valium/Diazepam isn't where I want to be as I have been physically tolerant to a certain medication in the past and that wasn't nice).

I am looking into starting a small business from home and then expanding if it goes well just now as that would be an option that fits around the sleep.

[Gazebo4]

The most important thing is to start to trust your body, your body knows how to sleep. It has not forgotten. Our bodies are infinitely more intelligent than our minds, but most of the times we don't listen to its messages because we only listen to what our mind says instead. Sleep disorders (all disorders, illness, disease actually) are rooted in stress/resistance/trauma/fear that is held in the body. Once we start to truly listen to these often difficult bodily sensations, they can finally be felt and, in time, this will burn up all of that stuck life energy. This might all sound a bit vague I guess, I know.

You could start with some simple body meditations. Actually that is all you really need. It's really as easy as just feeling your hands when you are lying in bed, while breathing in and out. Follow the breath and feel your body. Start with your hands, for most people they are the easiest to feel at first (the rest will follow). A simple question you can ask yourself is when you close your eyes, 'how can I know where my hands are without looking'? This will move attention away from your mind to your body (hands), because you can only know by feeling.

Do this and you notice that while doing this you are not engaged in thinking and therefore there is nothing to worry about. It really is that simple. Only when you start thinking and worrying again problems arise. The more often you take a step back, the more rest and peace you will find. But you need to practice. As with anything, if you want to be good at something you need to practice it. Move your attention from your mind to your body and the rest will follow. All anxiety is felt in the body but by being constantly resisting it through thinking processes, you are perpetuating that never-ending cycle of restlessness with all its consequences.

I've had a long period of insomnia, restlessness due to severe anxiety, depression and a burnout, and even though it took me a long time to get through, this is all that is needed to heal. You need to trust your body, it's a magnificent, miraculous and intelligent piece of natural machinery! Do this and step by step all will be revealed.

[Valotonin]

Can this just become the general advice thread?
I am sorry for your ailment, reed and I hope that some of the advice here has helped you to find ways of working with your issue. There isn't much I could add and these replies above seem really detailed and helpful.

Anyway, my trivial complaint that I need advice on:
I had laundry powder on my hands and rolled a cigarette, not realising that it soaked into the paper before I smoked it.
...am I going to be alright? My mouth tastes of laundry detergent and I feel a bit sick. It isn't akin to eating a tide-pod, but I still feel like I have exposed myself to something I shouldn't.

I drank some mineral water and had a teaspoon of vegetable cooking oil, I'll be alright yeah?

(reassure me, please Twoism)

[Valotonin]

I am (most likely) fine, sorry for being a hypochondriac.

[Andromeda]

Agree with ADecentMan - exercise is my advice too. Lifting weights is really good for you (done properly - research it first and invest in some kit)... and also knackers you out so that you sleep like a baby at night!
Hope you work things out

[machinea]

I have ADHD and have trouble sleeping several nights a week and I have done everything I can think of. I've been incredibly fit and worked out (it works at first but once you are fit it generally stops working nearly as well). I've tried weed. I now take over the counter sleep medication and prescription medication on a rotation every night. It will probably do some long term harm in the long run but I can't not sleep and it was killing my life and making the symptoms I have more difficult to work with. I just went with drugs finally after decades of this shit.

[FeatherKoan]

Hey, sorry to hear about your difficulties. As an ADD guy myself I've wasted many late nights in bed. personally I've found good sleep hygiene comes with a routine you create and associate your bed, and betime, with sleep. If you aren't tired, don't stay in bed- get up, get a glass of water, go on a walk, read a book, ect. You want your body to associate your bed with relaxing, and sleeping alone. Put the phone down (at least get a blue light filter) and turn the light off at set times.

Other habits like when you exercise, work, drink caffiene ect all significantly contribute to your sleep. You've probably heard this all before, but it's important none the less. Also, when I'm totally ready for sleep I have this sort of meditative routine that always gets me to rest. I settle in a comfortable position, and one by one, in whatever order you like (I do top to bottom) I sequentially feel and relax every muscle in my body, even letting my eyes sit comfortably in their sockets. Not soon after the sensation of heaviness overcomes me I fall asleep. I'm interested to hear if a technique like that helps you.

Although considering how serious and continuous your insomnia had been there's probably underlying mental or physiological issues that frankly noone (especially not me) other than a physician, therapist, and so on can help shed some light on your difficulties. Good luck, and let us know if anything worsens/improves.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

[machinea]

My main symptom has been bad sleep and it goes back to when I was an infant. It's nuts. I remember going to bed as a little kid and waking up between 2-4 am and finally just reading a book because laying there awake for hours was crap for a 7 year old.

I've had great sleep hygiene in the past and it's decent now but sometimes I just wake up at 3 am and can't go back to sleep. The drugs I take don't knock me out so much as let me stay asleep for 7 hours instead of 4-5. Without medication it's pretty consistently 2 nights a week no matter what I'd do. Short term there were things that helped like exercise but it all stop working once I'd adapt. I'd get short changed and that was doable for a long time until real stress hits and then it's consistently 4-5 hours a night every night and after about 5 months of that I'd go into a depression. I've had 3 major depressions in my life each about a decade apart and I finally traced it to the sleep disorder combined with unremitting stress. It turns out ADHD folks have an almost 70-80% change of having sleep issues. So whether happy or sad, stress free or not, fit or fat there are going to be a couple of nights a week that are straight garbage. I never do caffeine after my morning drink. But even caffeine free makes no difference. Nothing has made a difference long term except medication.