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rodox_head wrote:Has anyone ever taken to writing a daily journal, but writing it as if it's two different versions of yourself writing notes to each other? I've been doing that this past month and it has been a decent outlet for emotions I wouldn't otherwise express to people. It makes the weekends tough, though, when it's just the physical me by itself.
Orbited insanitarium wrote:rodox_head wrote:Has anyone ever taken to writing a daily journal, but writing it as if it's two different versions of yourself writing notes to each other? I've been doing that this past month and it has been a decent outlet for emotions I wouldn't otherwise express to people. It makes the weekends tough, though, when it's just the physical me by itself.
I agree with writing thoughts or worries down that you keep in your head and not out loud, I sometimes do that to understand a certain situation. I think that if i put it down on paper, it’ll give me better control of whatever I’m thinking about going forward, sort of a place for emotions to rest outside of the body (even for a short while, if that makes sense)
Although I’m not a generally a unhappy person sometimes I have bouts of depression if I’m stuck in a day to day cycle of little to no variety or change. same faces, same words. When the clocks changed I become unmotivated, unclear with daily direction. It’s a bit on and off though.
Hope your keeping well, It’s good that threads like these exist, unnoticed to few but impactful to others.
Just call me the friendly forum agony aunt!
Neutrally speaking, that seems more like a gamblers fallacy.Jonse wrote:It gets better.
arvy wrote:phpBB [media]
You should definitely check this man, he' talking about dopamine and how it affects your motivation. Genuinely helpful stuff. Also cold showers is a real deal. Both improve your mental and physical state. I am on my second month cold showers only and it is amazing. Tho, I always was trying my self with cold. Just its only cold showers now. Also I have depression here and there. Mostly because I was doing my bjj training for the past 10-15 years. And lately there was injuries after injuries. Young 19 teen guys almost rag dolling you. And you realise, that you are getting old. But it is good to compensate one thing for another. Breathing exercises, healthy food, no alcohol and so on.
rodox_head wrote:arvy wrote:phpBB [media]
You should definitely check this man, he' talking about dopamine and how it affects your motivation. Genuinely helpful stuff. Also cold showers is a real deal. Both improve your mental and physical state. I am on my second month cold showers only and it is amazing. Tho, I always was trying my self with cold. Just its only cold showers now. Also I have depression here and there. Mostly because I was doing my bjj training for the past 10-15 years. And lately there was injuries after injuries. Young 19 teen guys almost rag dolling you. And you realise, that you are getting old. But it is good to compensate one thing for another. Breathing exercises, healthy food, no alcohol and so on.
I watched about half of that so far; some really interesting stuff in there actually. Found it interesting that caffeine doesn't directly increase dopamine. Keeping oneself in a certain rhythm certainly helps keep a mood more stable, it might be why I gravitate towards genres like Trance, Techno, and DnB so much, it keeps the inside of my head looking like Webdriver Torso.
I think the chemical aspect is still not the complete picture in a lot of cases, sometimes just the mere attitude of looking out your window to not see much to be optimistic about can leave a heavy burden for your serotonin levels. More often than not, in an instance where I'm feeling cheerful and step outside I'm easily confronted by the drab faces of others and a feeling of empathy and guilt washes over immediately. At work I once took great pride in doing a great job, and still find it difficult to show a subpar work ethic to some degree, but compounded with the notion that my company does not value it in the slightest and being not so sure if my colleagues are even worth fighting for (if that's even possible), further drives those levels down. And isolation, let's not forget about that. Certain personal revelations also pile on. Living with MDD can just feel like having the "They Live" glasses on 24/7, in a non-edgy way, I don't consider myself more "intelligent" for seeing the negative side to things at all.
But this is also all just personal anecdotes, I totally get how this can work for a lot of people. I don't want to make it seem like I don't agree with what you're putting out there.
As for cold showers, I'll stick to hot for now since my apartment's pretty chilly in the wintertime. I heard it's good for the skin though.
arvy wrote:Personally for me the main recipe for happiness in life is simple - no alcohol. Tho, it is much harder to achieve, than it seams. There are many variables. Is it possible to have some from time to time when going out? Or is it simpler just don't go out whatsoever? I can say one thing for sure, that life is a little less exciting without the cold one, but it is still exciting nonetheless. I also cam to one interesting observation, what cause what. Is it depression cause you to drink, o drinking cause the depression. Perfect example which came first, the chicken or the egg.
rodox_head wrote:arvy wrote:Personally for me the main recipe for happiness in life is simple - no alcohol. Tho, it is much harder to achieve, than it seams. There are many variables. Is it possible to have some from time to time when going out? Or is it simpler just don't go out whatsoever? I can say one thing for sure, that life is a little less exciting without the cold one, but it is still exciting nonetheless. I also cam to one interesting observation, what cause what. Is it depression cause you to drink, o drinking cause the depression. Perfect example which came first, the chicken or the egg.
I rarely drink either, only during special occasions or when going to a nice restaurant with others, even then I'm good at gauging when I should stop. While I'm sure it's a case-by-case basis, from my experience, it was the depression that urged me to drink. When I first came of drinking age I could barely stomach beer, but one night at a party about a couple years later I just started going to town on the wine because of that. Just a few years ago I would go through at least a pint of whiskey every weekend, and sometimes I feel an inkling of an urge to go back because I remember how, even though it was feelings of sadness, it caused me to feel at least something. Crying is the orgasm to sadness I think I've once read before.
rodox_head wrote:@Gazebo4
It may not be the cure for depression, but coming to an understanding of who or what you really are is major hurdle that's worth climbing over. I remember while I was at a major low point some years ago I began to stare deeply into the abyss inside myself and eventually came to see what was really there. I'm still not prepared to admit what I found to others, and sure as all hell not gonna say how I came to find that out. It may eventually lead me to my grave, but at least I'll have some sense of whatever the f*** I was when/if I decide to go.
Gazebo4 wrote:I have to somewhat disagree with you on that knowing who you are is not the cure for depression. When you start to see who you really are, it is seen that depression is a mental state. The mental state does not define you, because what you are is that which knows (or is aware of) the mental state. In other words, you can shift your attention from believing in the story of a person who suffers a depression to the awareness that pervades the experience of a person that is suffering from a depression. It's a total shift in consciousness, or rather an awakening of being aware, instead of continuously being identified with being a person and thus being asleep. So depression may be a part of you that exists temporarily, but as with all experiences they all come and go eventually.
From my own experience if there is one thing I would say to people in a depression it's this: stop fighting with yourself, get out of your own way and trust in the process that is unfolding right now. It is not a mistake, life makes no mistakes.
rodox_head wrote:When I say "cure for depression", I'm referring to the medical sense of the word. Like Magrathea described in his post earlier, it's something that isn't going away, at least not anytime soon.
I think of two major questions when regarding accepting who you are:
1. How well would this person you see in yourself actually be accepted by others, or any greater surroundings?
2a. How much does depression truly define you when it can sometimes be the only thing people see about you due to one's reserved and near-schizoid personality?
2b. How much do you actually even exist without the outside perception of yourself?
rodox_head wrote:On the nature of identity, which I am in the midst of struggling to fully comprehend for myself, I felt compelled to share a quick piece I worked on a while ago because I don't think I can describe how it has felt using words. Basically how it feels to look in the mirror most times.
(I had to crop it slightly to avoid possibly breaking any rules, even though technically nothing is censored, so beware, I guess)
- Spoiler: show
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