rodox_head wrote:Open question to anyone:
What keeps you going? What gets you out of bed in the morning and reminds you the day is worth fighting through?
I'm pretty excited about life these days! I wasn't always. I used to post alongside others in this very topic about the same feeling - what's the point? what does all this amount to?
- for one, I was in my teens and early 20's. that's hell for most people and I think a lot of people find themselves asking this same question, regardless of how unique we our experience feels
- for another, a lot of what we may see as "western civilization" can actually be kinda soul-sucking! there's only so much one can do at any given stage of life. but you're always in control of your responses to it (even if your options get artificially limited)
- I grew up pretty emotionally neglected - largely just me and my mom, and my mom had her own stuff going on, which resulted in me spending most of my time alone (and on the internet, playing video games). turns out there's a LOT of emotional validation you're supposed to be getting during those years!
some dear friends helped me realize I was avoiding my emotions (even though I felt SO DEPRESSED so much of the time!)
a combination of things helped:
- slowly pulling away from the things that I was using to escape reality, escape myself (largely video games and music, now enjoyed more healthfully)
- THERAPY!
- meditation, mindfulness. I'd go sit in a park and look at the water (or trees or what have you) until it felt like it was actually doing something. sometimes it didn't. but i kept doing it. small rituals
- exercise, eating better
- getting out and trying new things. allowing myself to feel too nervous to do anything. it's not the end of the world if i don't end up making a new friend or talking to anyone. it's fine. i'll try again tomorrow
- getting older! i'm about to turn 30, and life just.. feels easier!
- on that note, having solid employment. I make significantly more money than I did when I was in my early 20s. obviously that helps - there are worries that I no longer have, and mobility I used to not have. hard to describe how much that helps. it's wild.
TL;DR - thanks to the above, being alive on this earth is enough for me to get up every day and look at it. it's a journey!