Gender

[turquoise70]

I know what it's like to feel resistant towards taking something seriously when you're accustomed to seeing it mocked or just eyerolled at. For a lot of people who've never had any difficult feelings about their gender identity, it comes off looking as an artificial means of inventing creativity where there really isn't any. But I can promise you it's not.

Thing about the internet, is ANYONE can become a spokesperson for their beliefs or social groups... which results in the phenomenon we're all way too familiar with, where the loudest among us are the most heard. The flip side of this, however, is that EVERYONE is expected to be a spokesperson for their beliefs and social groups. The internet's spotlight can shine on anyone, however inconsequential. Every trans kid with a tumblr and every frustrated feminist with a twitter account is a representative not only themselves, but the things they believe in. Feminism becomes Every Thing Every Person Has Ever Said With The Hashtag #Feminism.

I'm actually a radical feminist myself. No, seriously. Most of the people who know me would nod and say, "Yeah, that's her alright" and a certain fraction would say, "Oh, Nikki, you're not one of the BAD ones." And then list a bunch of ways I'm supposedly not like the so-called feminazis that make them uncomfortable. Most of which are wrong.

it's important to remember that just 'cause you can't fathom why someone would do something (say, transition from one sex to another), that doesn't make it stupid. When I write it out like that, it comes off patronizing, but it's the truth, even for me. Like, this is a dumb example, but hear me out... I'm insanely organized, as a person. I'm not -neat-, I'm messy - but organized. I like to know where everything is at all times. I like to feel I have control over my immediate surroundings. I know a lot of people who are the opposite, they could care less. They never know where they left their stuff, never write anything down, etc. I seriously have to remind myself to be nice to these people. Because some part of my brain /cannot fathom/ why someone would go through their life like that. It's going, "Do they not realize how stupid and miserable they are?!" I have to remind myself they're not actually dumb or secretly miserable, they're just different than me, and it works for them. So I KNOW how hard it is to resist the instinct to see something you don't get on a gut level as being pointless or asinine. But as you've seen with me, us weirdos do what we do for a reason I couldn't explain in so many words why I -had- to go and change the sex of my body, but I definitely did. It makes perfect sense internally. I suppose you'll just have to trust me on that one!

[Mexicola]

Fascinating post Nikki. Thoughtful and intelligent. Shouldn't have expected any less really

[Jonse]

I despise the term "feminazi".

That's not something that exists. You either are a feminist or you are not. People like Anita Sarkeesian are not feminists or "feminazis". They're people who found something that was easy to co-opt and make money from. Social media provides a battlefield where the online disinhibition effect is always present. They love the drama. Their opposition (usually a bunch of idiotic overgrown neckbearded children) is equally ridiculous (simply taking part in all that shit is ridiculous when you know you're wasting time) and some of these people have been hurt in the process. Should that happen? No, but at the same time I can't help but really feel sympathy for either side. They argue a redundant argument. Triggers exist and HURT people. A great deal of otherwise 'normal' people on the internet ARE complicit in being passively misogynistic (though I do know that a good chunk has been contrived solely out of hate for "feminazis" and their dumb decision to get into that shit led them to become what they were being accused of - not okay, hashtag generation). On that same note, passing the Bechdel test is not a requirement for writing fiction and you are not an asshole for writing about what you actually want to write about without shoehorning in something that wasn't part of it. THE END.

What you see often on Tumblr are a lot of EXTREMES full of anger and lacking a concise ideology.

I have heard many ridiculous comments from self-proclaimed feminists with no real track record but the worst is every occasion where I eventually find out that they're prejudiced against some culture or group of people. I've seen racism, homophobia and a surprising amount of transphobia. You can't be the same thing you're campaigning against. I know feminists. They exist. They spend their time as activists, not attention whores. They're good people. Nicole is a great feminist and has the kindness and patience that is essential to being an activist of any kind. Anybody who resorts immediately to anger upon hearing criticism doesn't deserve to be an activist and that is what is so frequent on Tumblr. I am so goddamn fed up with everyone that wants so badly to tarnish the image of a good idea or movement by being a dick.

[turquoise70]

^ Another very nice post. And not only because you make me blush, but hell it doesn't hurt.

[Ashtray Wasp]

I despise the term "feminazi".

That's not something that exists. You either are a feminist or you are not. People like Anita Sarkeesian are not feminists or "feminazis". They're people who found something that was easy to co-opt and make money from. Social media provides a battlefield where the online disinhibition effect is always present. They love the drama. Their opposition (usually a bunch of idiotic overgrown neckbearded children) is equally ridiculous (simply taking part in all that shit is ridiculous when you know you're wasting time) and some of these people have been hurt in the process. Should that happen? No, but at the same time I can't help but really feel sympathy for either side. They argue a redundant argument. Triggers exist and HURT people. A great deal of otherwise 'normal' people on the internet ARE complicit in being passively misogynistic (though I do know that a good chunk has been contrived solely out of hate for "feminazis" and their dumb decision to get into that shit led them to become what they were being accused of - not okay, hashtag generation). On that same note, passing the Bechdel test is not a requirement for writing fiction and you are not an asshole for writing about what you actually want to write about without shoehorning in something that wasn't part of it. THE END.

What you see often on Tumblr are a lot of EXTREMES full of anger and lacking a concise ideology.

I have heard many ridiculous comments from self-proclaimed feminists with no real track record but the worst is every occasion where I eventually find out that they're prejudiced against some culture or group of people. I've seen racism, homophobia and a surprising amount of transphobia. You can't be the same thing you're campaigning against. I know feminists. They exist. They spend their time as activists, not attention whores. They're good people. Nicole is a great feminist and has the kindness and patience that is essential to being an activist of any kind. Anybody who resorts immediately to anger upon hearing criticism doesn't deserve to be an activist and that is what is so frequent on Tumblr. I am so goddamn fed up with everyone that wants so badly to tarnish the image of a good idea or movement by being a dick.

Sorry to affend you if I did, what I really meant to say is SJW, but I was so used to say "feminazi" that it sounded fine to me.

Also I completely agree with you on everything else said, they are not activists, just enraged childish teenagers!

[turquoise70]

The term 'SJW' is another idiotic invention. 'Social Justice Warrior' is not an insult. I -want- to be associated with what that term implies, whether or not it's meant to be sardonic. To me the use of the acronym SJW in speech is a better indicator of the speaker's values than it is about anyone else.

"I'm just talking about the ones who..."

Stop.

[Ashtray Wasp]

The term 'SJW' is another idiotic invention. 'Social Justice Warrior' is not an insult. I -want- to be associated with what that term implies, whether or not it's meant to be sardonic. To me the use of the acronym SJW in speech is a better indicator of the speaker's values than it is about anyone else.

"I'm just talking about the ones who..."

Stop.

Well I don't know what to call them then more than enraged childiah teenagers as prevously said, and I am sorry if I offended you as well, becouse in the enviroment where I used to hear that word it meant nothing good, so pardon me and my idiotic habits

[turquoise70]

No worries man. Sorry for going off on you. I understand.

I think 'enraged childish teenagers' does a pretty good job of summing it up.

[Jonse]

I hate the "SJW" term too. It's more or less the same. Not only does it sound incredibly stupid but it's yet just another buzzword with no real meaning.

People from the assholes of the internet. Bad subreddits, bad 4chan boards, bad tumblr groups, etc...

Bunch of children. They made this shit up. There are issues and then there's dickwaving and when the people dickwaving who are serious about issues decide they want to really talk about them, they can step out of the dickwaving party.

[Aerial Boundaries]

I hate the "SJW" term too. It's more or less the same. Not only does it sound incredibly stupid but it's yet just another buzzword with no real meaning.

People from the assholes of the internet. Bad subreddits, bad 4chan boards, bad tumblr groups, etc...

Bunch of children. They made this shit up. There are issues and then there's dickwaving and when the people dickwaving who are serious about issues decide they want to really talk about them, they can step out of the dickwaving party.

Though I have found some incredibly interesting posts on 4chan before, mostly in /g/, I can't stand most of them. They really irritate me, I do feel like reaching through the screen and punching them in the nuts for playing into the worst traditions and lines of thought still in existence.

[valleaux]

^Yo, /mu/ is actually how I found BOC in the first place. The site's a pretty ok place if you get past the stupidity. *cough cough /b/ /s4s / cough cough*

[Jonse]

/mu/ is fine. Don't act pretentious and it's all good. One of few boards on 4chan that actually discusses its topic and doesn't penalize those with names. Mostly chill.


/b/ is just /b/ so it's nothing to even be upset about.

/s4s/ is inherently ironic so it's nothing to even pay attention to.

The worst offender is /v/ and constitutes about 70% of 4chan's atrociousness in my experience. /tv/ is a second close now.

[Aerial Boundaries]

/g/ can be pretty bad. Apparently everything not Ubuntu is a 'meme-distro' and Ubuntu itself is a 'cuck distro'

It's also half filled with middle class white American kids showing off their 'battlestations' which look like they cost twice as much as they would have if they bought smart.

But as I said it can be interesting. Particularly the programming threads and sometimes the show your desktop threads.

/mu has given me some great conversations, a lot of BOC fans on there it seems.

[valleaux]

/v/ is pretty horrible, I gotta agree. Any of the boards where people talk about common interest are usually pretty ok, like /co/ and /toy/. /mu/ is always pretty cool, though. It's one of the few places where if someone disagrees, they're pretty chill about it, as opposed to just yelling at each other.

[volterock]

I remember learning about this particular tribe when I studied cultural anthropology who had their gender roles switched - the women went out and hunted food while the men stayed home and took care of the kids and dressed pretty -
Also, many people are born with deformed genitalia and other complications.
I see everyone as unique in their own way and we shouldn't try to put others in a box.

[Cupz]

If I could make one wish, I'd wish I could magically switch back and forth between genders by saying a magic word.

[Aerial Boundaries]

If I could make one wish, I'd wish I could magically switch back and forth between genders by saying a magic word.

Funnily enough, I do actually feel like being a woman every now and then. I'm not sure exactly why, hence why I posted about how I didn't (still don't really) understand the motivation behind the concept fully. I think for me the experience is somehow implicitly tied to my bisexuality. I need to think about it a bit more because I haven't paid much notice to it.

It's more of a role-play thing for me, I tend to switch roles when fantasising. Look at things from different imagined perspectives.

Sorry if that seems a little reductive, I am not trying to imply that I suddenly identify as transsexual. (heh that rhymed a little)

[Jonse]

'cuck distro'

/g/ has bleedthrough with /v/ and /tv/, which is where the "maymay" loving idiots flock, so I'm not surprised. "Cuck" is also a more recent meme within the anuses of 4chan, specifically the neckbearded ones. Two months ago I logged on to YouTube and every time a bootleg I uploaded of Louis CK would have their reposted "cuck" comments. It got annoying. Friend of mine likes to repeat that shit too.

[turquoise70]

If I could make one wish, I'd wish I could magically switch back and forth between genders by saying a magic word.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Speaking as someone who's transitioned permanently from one side of the gender thing to the other, if fluidity had been a possibility I would have taken it.

I think an option to select your gender daily - and the social expectation that that's okay - would actually solve a LOT of people's issues.

It would make a certain helplessly simple portion of the population confused, and they'd probably complain about "How do u kno anything abot a person then they cud just be like lol im a dude lol im a chick and trick u." But people who think things like that are imbeciles and the thoughts they have are imbecilic, so fuck them. They're the same assholes who think banning transsexuals from using their own bathrooms is going to solve some mysterious magical problem where dudes dress as chicks to perv on chicks in bathrooms, which is going to be a real not-made-up thing and start actually happening any day now I'm sure.

Everyone else would prosper from the option and the easing off of all the pressure to perform as one or the other all the time.

[Aerial Boundaries]

Everyone else would prosper from the option and the easing off of all the pressure to perform as one or the other all the time.

I'd say it is in the top of the tension list. I can feel so much tension and discomfort around gender issues when most people talk about them.

'cuck distro'

/g/ has bleedthrough with /v/ and /tv/, which is where the "maymay" loving idiots flock, so I'm not surprised. "Cuck" is also a more recent meme within the anuses of 4chan, specifically the neckbearded ones. Two months ago I logged on to YouTube and every time a bootleg I uploaded of Louis CK would have their reposted "cuck" comments. It got annoying. Friend of mine likes to repeat that shit too.

I stay away from those sections completely, they are incredibly irritating kids.

I love /ck/ though actually. They have some great taste on there.