Relationships

[TheSilenceEchoes]

i want a weirdo girl.

there's a girl i know who will not be named, who appears to be into me. i'm petrified of her because she's upstanding, organized, friendly, professional when she has to be, sincere, understanding, responsible, very intelligent, and at odds cheerful and moody - not to mention very very cute. i can't understand why a girl like this would show interest in me and i'm terrified of getting emotionally and physically close to her. that's how love works in my life.

Do you like (as in like-like ) her? Or is she 'too' perfect, and does that kind of scare you away (put you off)? Perhaps if she'd turned out to be a weirdo girl, you'd feel different?

[Earthbound]

but i will say that i definitely am not beholden to a hunter mindset nor am i looking for some 'perfect' ideal

I see where you're coming from man. I suppose you could call me a "romantic", because i don't believe the casual sex thing and like the meaningful side of relationships. Last time that happened was like a year ago now. Instead I've had like a few one night stands since in parties and festivals and stuff but really ended up missing who i was with and feeling bad about myself... great!

That sounds a bit too familiair. Kudos!

[ninetyoneplus]

there's a girl i know who will not be named, who appears to be into me. i'm petrified of her because she's upstanding, organized, friendly, professional when she has to be, sincere, understanding, responsible, very intelligent, and at odds cheerful and moody - not to mention very very cute. i can't understand why a girl like this would show interest in me

this is exactly the point i am trying to make. youre putting her up on a pedestal while undoubtedly she has fears, insecurities and natural bodily functions, just like you, me, or anyone else. if you think of her in this way, you become much less intimidated by the whole situation.

[bleak.]

but i will say that i definitely am not beholden to a hunter mindset nor am i looking for some 'perfect' ideal

I see where you're coming from man. I suppose you could call me a "romantic", because i don't believe the casual sex thing and like the meaningful side of relationships. Last time that happened was like a year ago now. Instead I've had like a few one night stands since in parties and festivals and stuff but really ended up missing who i was with and feeling bad about myself... great!

That sounds a bit too familiair. Kudos!

i dated my last girlfriend for three years, 6 months of those was dedicated to looking after her and her six year old brother whilst their mother was in hospital after suffering a stroke. i've never had a one night stand and have only had a relationship with a few girls. at the time, the relationship with my ex was ideal - we spoke pretty much everyday for those three years, never argued, complained - but this all fell apart when she started university. i suppose since the breakup i've been looking for this magical thing i once knew...but since i have changed, i have found it more difficult to find like minded people. whereas before my ex i was full of confidence, gigging weekly, young, innocent...slightly immature perhaps! i suppose i had far more options...nowadays, it seems that i've limited myself...i find most girls incredibly frustrating and plastic. ok, i'm rambling slightly...but needed to get that out!

[Earthbound]

there's a girl i know who will not be named, who appears to be into me. i'm petrified of her because she's upstanding, organized, friendly, professional when she has to be, sincere, understanding, responsible, very intelligent, and at odds cheerful and moody - not to mention very very cute. i can't understand why a girl like this would show interest in me

this is exactly the point i am trying to make. youre putting her up on a pedestal while undoubtedly she has fears, insecurities and natural bodily functions, just like you, me, or anyone else. if you think of her in this way, you become much less intimidated by the whole situation.

True. Just try and imagine this 'perfect' girl on the toilet pinching a loaf. That would burst your bubble, and make it perhaps a bit more easy to approach her.

On the other hand. The older I got, the more demands I got about girls. I think dating different girls made me realise what girl I truely want, which girl is made for me (without sounding cheesy I hope). This limits the market so to speak. So many girls are indeed plastic and superficial.. I consider myself lucky, as I have a fantastic wife. But beeing in a relationship is not the golden mountain, it's working hard to make it work each day. But it sure has it's glory moments .

[turquoise70]

let me put it this way... it's not so much i'm intimidated by her oh-so-perfect way.

i just don't aspire to it. if she's cool to be herself and date me while i still have hair halfway down to my butt, spend all my time making music i don't intend to sell and drawing cartoon animals with tits, and zero motivation or ambition for a decent dignified life or to 'be a man' or have sex with her, then great, sign me up.

[jakestott]

I have never been confident enough to have any serious relationships with girls, and at 19 years of age, i think it's pretty crazy. I have this fear of being turned down by a girl who would reject me for my looks. Don't get me wrong, i don't have any facial disfigurements or anything. I have however got this thing called a Coloboma, only in one eye though (and my eyes are brown, so it's hard to notice unless you got close to me). I feel that if i met a girl i liked, soon as she notices my eye, she'll have the ''eww you freak'' attitude, that motherfuckin shallowness that i hate with a passion.

I dunno if i'm overreacting about it or not, maybe some girls would find it cute? . I mean in school, people thought it was quite cool, and nobody noticed it in college.

[s7409651]

I have never been confident enough to have any serious relationships with girls, and at 19 years of age, i think it's pretty crazy. I have this fear of being turned down by a girl who would reject me for my looks. Don't get me wrong, i don't have any facial disfigurements or anything. I have however got this thing called a Coloboma, only in one eye though (and my eyes are brown, so it's hard to notice unless you got close to me). I feel that if i met a girl i liked, soon as she notices my eye, she'll have the ''eww you freak'' attitude, that motherfuckin shallowness that i hate with a passion.

I dunno if i'm overreacting about it or not, maybe some girls would find it cute? . I mean in school, people thought it was quite cool, and nobody noticed it in college.

Dude. Any girl who would have a problem with your eye is certainly not the kinda girl you'd want to be with, anyway. You said it yourself: 'that motherfuckin shallowness that i hate with a passion'.
A lot of guys are way too hard on themselves. I know I am/was. I used to be painfully shy. Sometimes it just takes a very special person to draw one out of that shyness.

[Numerator]

I have a girlfriend
yay

that's seemingly a terrible, terrible thing on this forum

[Joebot Kill]

but i will say that i definitely am not beholden to a hunter mindset nor am i looking for some 'perfect' ideal

I see where you're coming from man. I suppose you could call me a "romantic", because i don't believe the casual sex thing and like the meaningful side of relationships. Last time that happened was like a year ago now. Instead I've had like a few one night stands since in parties and festivals and stuff but really ended up missing who i was with and feeling bad about myself... great!

That sounds a bit too familiair. Kudos!

i dated my last girlfriend for three years, 6 months of those was dedicated to looking after her and her six year old brother whilst their mother was in hospital after suffering a stroke. i've never had a one night stand and have only had a relationship with a few girls. at the time, the relationship with my ex was ideal - we spoke pretty much everyday for those three years, never argued, complained - but this all fell apart when she started university. i suppose since the breakup i've been looking for this magical thing i once knew...but since i have changed, i have found it more difficult to find like minded people. whereas before my ex i was full of confidence, gigging weekly, young, innocent...slightly immature perhaps! i suppose i had far more options...nowadays, it seems that i've limited myself...i find most girls incredibly frustrating and plastic. ok, i'm rambling slightly...but needed to get that out!

my situation is literally identical to yours. ive had two serious relationships. now that i'm out of school, and single, i'm wondering how i'll ever meet a new girl. i work at an art supply store, and plenty of cool girls come in. but there never seems to be any sort of opportunity to see if they'd like to hang out or something. there was the one girl that came in a few times and we talked about illustration and stuff. she told me she wanted to show me her stuff. so finally, two days ago i asked her if she wanted to hang out. i was super nervous, as i never do things like that. and i got the "oh... heh... erm... i have a boyfriend."


fucking figures.

by the way, cole, you should give it a shot. you will probably regret it more if you dont.

[Xurbatronic]

I've been single for 9 years now. I have realised that it is a much more acceptable state to be in than being with someone who is psychologically destructive to themselves, and everyone around them.
It is also hard to meet people when you spend 12 hours a day in a studio! I know what it feels like to break up with someone you love, and it does hurt for a while, but it doesn't hurt forever, and you always come away with some deeper understanding, even if the experience wasn't balanced in favour of the positive. If it was a good relationship, eventually, you cherish the memories. I have found that when you break up with a girlfriend that your friends support you through the bad times. As a female friend of mine once said to me, "lovers come and go, but your friends will always be there for you."

[turquoise70]

i'm dating that girl i talked about. you fuckers all happy now?

[Numerator]

i'm dating that girl i talked about. you fuckers all happy now?

good on ya!

[BrandNewRetro]

i'm dating that girl i talked about. you fuckers all happy now?

Awesome! Hope it all goes well!

[Numerator]

had a row with my girlfriend
mightily pissed off now
...and don't say it dosent mean anything cos I'm only a teenager, cos that too pisses me off

[Earthbound]

i'm dating that girl i talked about. you fuckers all happy now?

Happy for yah dude!
Now: ease of the wanking a little

[turquoise70]

Ok, we broke up. Phew. I honestly feel like I just lost 20 pounds. I feel awesome.

[ShammenDelly]

I crave for a girlfriend, where i live, there is no girls that are into the same stuff/music as me, they all look the same (ompa lompas (fucking hate fake tan)!
The perfect woman would be a woman that listens to good music such as boc, autechre, aphex twin etc, smokes weed, loves taking a walk around 4 in the morning, just amazed by the sky etc
I know i get really epic when i look at the sky, carl sagan style lol

[Spenner]

For two entire years I couldn't summon the courage to ask out the girl of my dreams who I had become really good friends with. Finally, I did, at the end of the two years. We dated for two months. Two years for two months. What a waste. It really did kill me, I genuinely loved her (yeah I know I'm just a teenager but I felt this as genuine LOVE, not even close to lust- it was some inevitable warth that I felt just by being around her- everything about her was perfect and she just made me happy knowing we were friend).

So yeah, I haven't dated since. Bipolarity and aspergers majorly get in the way-- I've heard people say that I'm cute and whatnot but I can't express myself vocally so there's no interest of them in me. I guess that's okay. Maybe I'll meet someone one day who will understand.

I'm hoping that in college there'll be other "artsy" people like me in the graphic design course I'm taking. I figure artsy course = artsy people at least in the minority (artsy in the means of appreciation for emotion whether it's fully expressed and obvious or not- little mechanical metaphors that an individual may display and whatnot. In my case, someone who may understand me well).

I really wish I hadn't dated her though. Since she started hated me and I don't even know why, when I really still had feelings for her the entire time until recently (we decided to end it because we couldn't talk to each other AKA me and aspergers hitting full tilt). Recently I've psychologically trained myself to hate her. It hurt and it felt so wrong, but I've been able to focus around depression by doing so.

Yeah, I would LIKE a relationship, but I'm not looking for one anytime soon. They're just not right for me at the moment.

[turquoise70]

dude, what?

i recommend a chill out. if that is not possible for you, make it possible.