Depression

[Jonse]

Gf might be pregnant

How long? Presumably this is recent?

[Ashtray Wasp]

Gf might be pregnant

How long? Presumably this is recent?

Told me yesterday that her period had been too soon, and with other characteristics that made it look like the implantation period

[Witto]

Gf might be pregnant

Told me yesterday that her period had been too soon, and with other characteristics that made it look like the implantation period

Shit man, hopefully it's just a scare. I tend to get incredibly anxious about stuff like this too, so I understand where you're coming from. What I've learned is that looking up symptoms and trying to make connections just makes it a lottt worse. Are you in a position to just get her tested?

[Ashtray Wasp]

Gf might be pregnant

Told me yesterday that her period had been too soon, and with other characteristics that made it look like the implantation period

Shit man, hopefully it's just a scare. I tend to get incredibly anxious about stuff like this too, so I understand where you're coming from. What I've learned is that looking up symptoms and trying to make connections just makes it a lottt worse. Are you in a position to just get her tested?

Well, she doesn't want to do a pregnancy test, but I'll try to convince her, I really hope it's just that her period has come too soon or something, becouse if not, I'll have to tell my parents and hers and then there is school

[Witto]

Gf might be pregnant

Told me yesterday that her period had been too soon, and with other characteristics that made it look like the implantation period

Shit man, hopefully it's just a scare. I tend to get incredibly anxious about stuff like this too, so I understand where you're coming from. What I've learned is that looking up symptoms and trying to make connections just makes it a lottt worse. Are you in a position to just get her tested?

Well, she doesn't want to do a pregnancy test, but I'll try to convince her, I really hope it's just that her period has come too soon or something, becouse if not, I'll have to tell my parents and hers and then there is school

How early did she get her period? Don't worry too much unless you have a reason to man, like I said going over scenarios like the parents/school thing is just going to make the anxiety worse. I know it may be hard to just "stop" thinking about something like that, but until she gets tested or shows more significant signs there's really no reason to worry.

Hang in there.

[Najlepsiejszy]

How's the baby situation?

WARNING: BLOG POST AHEAD

Fuck man, at least you seem responsible. There was this guy in the looney house- he took so many designer drugs he acted like he had ADHD. He had a baby on the way. He was so proud about having the child, and at the same time he couldn't last at least a few phone calls without a fight with his girlfriend. He also used to hit on that fucking 12 year old who was raped. Like, he was following her around and stuff. She seemed to deal with it and not care, but writing all of this down makes me want to cry. But I was afraid of stepping in. I felt like I was in prison. I didn't want to make any enemies. Fortunately there are now about 200 miles between them...

I don't even know why I wrote that. I just need to vent about that place. So much stuff reminds me of it. I still have dreams about the institution. It was such a shitty place. Unless you go to a hospital which gives you great liberties- LIKE BEING ABLE TO TAKE WALKS OUTSIDE ONCE IN A FUCKING WHILE WITHOUT YOUR PARENTS- don't do it This advice is probably targeted to teenagers mostly. It's so fucking stupid. People above us, grown-ups who were addicted to drugs, could have phones and communicate with their dealers- the nurses told me they do it.

That place was so fucking crazy. Like, why the fuck would you not give knives when eating, but calipers at school at fine? One kid actually cut himself with one to leave school.

I understand that some of the restrictions there were "for our own good", but they treated us like we were prisoners. They told us not to say "what you in for", but "what's the reason you're here"- at the same time I never felt so liberated than when I walked out of that place for good.

They were absolutely hopeless when treating us. There were people who joined our honorable ranks multiple times- three, four, sometimes more, and when I was in there, I had a girl walk out of the hospital and few days later she came back because of a suicide attempt. Completely inept, completely unprofessional people. I told my psychologist I want to kill myself with a glass standing somewhere (I would break it and cut myself with the shards). She told me she was scared- how fucking professional- and instead of talking with me, she sent me to the observation ward. After that stunt, I stopped trusting her completely.

I don't like my asexuality and I want to learn how to accept it. My psychiatrist, head of the ward, told me it would change, and my psychologist told me to speak with a therapist about it. Fuck this, I'm never telling anyone IRL anymore

That's the public health care system for ya. The nurses were more involved in the healing process than the psychiatrists and the psychologists.

The institution completely changed how I see psychologists. I had a chick tell me today at the hotel where I work that she wants to be one. My feelings were not mixed, they were shaken and stirred.

Also, fucking hell, I WILL be hated for this, but I was with this kid with Down's syndrome- what a little piece of shit he was. His disability was his "get out of jail" card with his parents. He stole candy from me, that little fucker, and couldn't even admit it. I was his only friend there. I accepted him for who he was, I never shouted at him before the stealing, I was as patient as I could with him and that's how he repaid- he stole from me and many others in the hospital. I told his mother about it and he broke down crying and his mother told me to forgive him. I said "okay", even though the little shit himself didn't say sorry. AND EVEN AFTER THAT, he kept stealing from me.

Jesus, I'm sorry, but there are still so many feelings inside of me from that place. I need to get them out somewhere. So many people, so much stuff that happened...I just need to vent somewhere


TL;DR: psychiatric wards suck, a needed vent

Thank you for your precious and valuable time

[Mexicola]

I don't often read the more lengthy posts people post, but I did this time. Sounds harrowing. I hope you're ok.

[Jonse]

TL;DR: psychiatric wards suck, a needed vent

Thank you for your precious and valuable time

Feel better, man.

[Ashtray Wasp]

Naj, as you describe it, those places don't really do anything to help people, and that should be known by the citizens, someone should raise general awareness about something like that, although I don't really think much people would get involved, there surely are some that would. You need to forget that place if it's causing you so much pain, I know it's hard, and that you are already trying, so we are here to help you man

Also the pregnancy was just a scare, and thanks to Aerial Boundaries, I have told a close friend about some problems, and I she took me to the psichiatric, and now I'm under treatment, one antidepressant in the morning, and a pill to sleep at night, and starting to go to a psicologist in September, so I'm doing fine for now, hope it actually helps

[Jonse]

Naj, as you describe it, those places don't really do anything to help people, and that should be known by the citizens, someone should raise general awareness about something like that, although I don't really think much people would get involved, there surely are some that would. You need to forget that place if it's causing you so much pain, I know it's hard, and that you are already trying, so we are here to help you man

Also the pregnancy was just a scare, and thanks to Aerial Boundaries, I have told a close friend about some problems, and I she took me to the psichiatric, and now I'm under treatment, one antidepressant in the morning, and a pill to sleep at night, and starting to go to a psicologist in September, so I'm doing fine for now, hope it actually helps

Good to hear about the pregnancy, man. Was co-pilot to AB as we both reacted to it and he responded to it. Legitimately concerned for you.

[Ashtray Wasp]

Naj, as you describe it, those places don't really do anything to help people, and that should be known by the citizens, someone should raise general awareness about something like that, although I don't really think much people would get involved, there surely are some that would. You need to forget that place if it's causing you so much pain, I know it's hard, and that you are already trying, so we are here to help you man

Also the pregnancy was just a scare, and thanks to Aerial Boundaries, I have told a close friend about some problems, and I she took me to the psichiatric, and now I'm under treatment, one antidepressant in the morning, and a pill to sleep at night, and starting to go to a psicologist in September, so I'm doing fine for now, hope it actually helps

Good to hear about the pregnancy, man. Was co-pilot to AB as we both reacted to it and he responded to it. Legitimately concerned for you.

Thank you

[Najlepsiejszy]

I'm glad to hear that your GF is not pregnant.

And thanks for letting me vent, I've been feeling much better

[re-phaelam-ed]

I'm really not good at ANYTHING. and i mean absolutely EVERYTHING!

[Cupz]

I feel like that too sometimes. Its hard to remember your achievements.

[re-phaelam-ed]

I feel like that too sometimes. Its hard to remember your achievements.

not when you don't have any. unless continuing to currently be able to pay for food is one.

[the albums i ordered posted in another thread were pre-layoff]

[Cupz]

I'd say eating food is definately an achievement. You wouldn't believe how many earthlings have to go weeks without a meal. And you cook it yourself, right? You take hot showers and listen to the most beautiful music. Never made someone laugh his ass off or squirt milk out of his nose? Helped someone out in desperate need? Those are achievements in their own right and I dare say the only achievements that count.

I was brought up with the idea that everybody should "make something of his/her life", "bring home the bacon" or "take over the family business" or whatever, like a lot of kids in the western world. It's a bit silly if you ask me. Life is just a ride and people should enjoy it for what it is. Its going to be over (very) soon, and you won't have any pockets in your last pair of trousers. Just do what you enjoy doing and love and help other people even though that's not always easy. That's pretty much it for me.

If you mean layoff as in you lost your job, well darn. Find a new (more enjoyable) one! I'm always happy when I get fired because that means I get to try out new things and the story continues in a fresh chapter.

[re-phaelam-ed]

I'd say eating food is definately an achievement. You wouldn't believe how many earthlings have to go weeks without a meal. And you cook it yourself, right? You take hot showers and listen to the most beautiful music. Never made someone laugh his ass off or squirt milk out of his nose? Helped someone out in desperate need? Those are achievements in their own right and I dare say the only achievements that count.

I was brought up with the idea that everybody should "make something of his/her life", "bring home the bacon" or "take over the family business" or whatever, like a lot of kids in the western world. It's a bit silly if you ask me. Life is just a ride and people should enjoy it for what it is. Its going to be over (very) soon, and you won't have any pockets in your last pair of trousers. Just do what you enjoy doing and love and help other people even though that's not always easy. That's pretty much it for me.

If you mean layoff as in you lost your job, well darn. Find a new (more enjoyable) one! I'm always happy when I get fired because that means I get to try out new things and the story continues in a fresh chapter.

well...and kind of easily said. but what if everything i like to do...i am absolutely terrible at, only makes me frustrated and at times i will sit there doing nothing, dreading doing whatever I'm choosing to do, because i know the outcome will only upset me.

[Najlepsiejszy]

Dude, I know how you feel. I'm also pretty clumsy and I feel like a moron most of the time. People say I'm intelligent and I score high on various tests (I'm not bragging, don't get me wrong!), but I really don't believe it. I believe other people are waaaay smarter than I am.

It's kinda scary how people say: "WELL YOU'VE ONLY GOT ONE CHANCE SO MAKE IT WORTHWHILE". What if the best you can be at anything is mediocre?

But hey, maybe we're all wrong and we're good at many things, only we don't see it...Let's wait, I guess...?

[jcnporter]

Dude, I know how you feel. I'm also pretty clumsy and I feel like a moron most of the time. People say I'm intelligent and I score high on various tests (I'm not bragging, don't get me wrong!), but I really don't believe it. I believe other people are waaaay smarter than I am.

It's kinda scary how people say: "WELL YOU'VE ONLY GOT ONE CHANCE SO MAKE IT WORTHWHILE". What if the best you can be at anything is mediocre?

But hey, maybe we're all wrong and we're good at many things, only we don't see it...Let's wait, I guess...?

I'm like yourself in that I do well at tests and so on but don't find myself to be particularly good at anything. But why's it important to be good at anything and what does 'worthwhile' or 'good' mean? By the standards of other people? Ignore them and do what gives you satisfaction and use that as your measure of success.
I know a few people who are conventionally 'successful' and I wouldn't swap with any of them - pressure, responsibilities, notoriety to name but a few things - couldn't be arsed.

[Cupz]

well...and kind of easily said. but what if everything i like to do...i am absolutely terrible at, only makes me frustrated and at times i will sit there doing nothing, dreading doing whatever I'm choosing to do, because i know the outcome will only upset me.

I think here lies a spirally problem. A close friend of mine has the exact same issue.

You become good at things by doing them.
You're not doing them, because you feel you suck at it.
Therefore you'll never be any good in it.

I promise you if you sink 10.000 hours into something, you'll be a grand-master. Period. It doesn't matter what subject it is nor if you have the "God given talent" or not. Shit generally takes a lot of time and practice.

Oliver Sacks writes in Musicophilia about a girl that was a musical genious from birth. Pitch-perfect, name notes by ear and replay entire operas after just listening to them once, something a lot of musicians have to put in a lot of time and practice to learn. Sad thing is she didn't even like music that much and had no aspirations in the subject whatsoever. That means she's going through the trouble of putting 10.000 hours into a different subject she does like before she reaches the same skill-level.

Find out what you REALLY would like to do, regardless if you are good at it or not and do it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. Its going to be shite at first, but you'll notice the improvements and that, in combination with your interest in the subject, is what keeps you going. Aim for the stars and continue taking little steps.

Oh, and I mean 10.000 hours of effort of course.