turquoise70 wrote:i wish i never
woke up this morning
life was easy
when it was boring
Dude! I've been listening to that police album in my car for 2 months straight!
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turquoise70 wrote:i wish i never
woke up this morning
life was easy
when it was boring
jakestott wrote:I'm not depressed, but since Late August, i have been experiencing high levels of anxiety.
It all started when i found large spot inside the skin of my scrotum (sounds disgusting i know) but it had me worrying for weeks as to what it could be, i kept thinking it was cancer. Eventually the spot got smaller, and went. I was happy, and thought i could live my life again without worry... until i woke up on September 10th and had the sensation of a lump in my throat, at first i passed it off as a sore throat, and thought it would just go away within a few days, so i ignored it. I became aware of it, and thought ''Hmm, somethings not right'' I tried coughing hard, to see if anything would come out, and nope, nothing! So i began to worry even more, basically the anxiety took over my life.
It didn't help going on Google and looking into it! Although i came across a symptom of anxiety called Globus sensation (The feeling of a lump in the throat, but isn't present when eating/drinking). Which is when the muscles in the throat can become tighter than usual. I figured this is what i probably have, but always had the voice in the back of my head saying ''Well, what if it isn't?''
I eventually went to see my doctor about it, he looked down my throat, felt my neck and told me everything was fine, and that it was all down to my anxious mind.
Now that i know what it is, it doesn't bother me at all now. Although i've been experiencing other physical sensations linked with anxiety (Stomach tightness, chest pain and dodgy vision) which freaks me out a little, although i don't notice the sensations when i am busy, just when i have a lot of free time on my hands!
I guess i just need to properly relax. I know these are all from my anxiety, because i am a healthy 19 year old (recently lost 3st in weight, which is around 42 pounds) I jog, well did jog on a daily basis every morning with my iPod listening to Clark's Totems Flare non-stop before i experienced high levels of anxiety!
747Music wrote:jakestott wrote:I'm not depressed, but since Late August, i have been experiencing high levels of anxiety.
It all started when i found large spot inside the skin of my scrotum (sounds disgusting i know) but it had me worrying for weeks as to what it could be, i kept thinking it was cancer. Eventually the spot got smaller, and went. I was happy, and thought i could live my life again without worry... until i woke up on September 10th and had the sensation of a lump in my throat, at first i passed it off as a sore throat, and thought it would just go away within a few days, so i ignored it. I became aware of it, and thought ''Hmm, somethings not right'' I tried coughing hard, to see if anything would come out, and nope, nothing! So i began to worry even more, basically the anxiety took over my life.
It didn't help going on Google and looking into it! Although i came across a symptom of anxiety called Globus sensation (The feeling of a lump in the throat, but isn't present when eating/drinking). Which is when the muscles in the throat can become tighter than usual. I figured this is what i probably have, but always had the voice in the back of my head saying ''Well, what if it isn't?''
I eventually went to see my doctor about it, he looked down my throat, felt my neck and told me everything was fine, and that it was all down to my anxious mind.
Now that i know what it is, it doesn't bother me at all now. Although i've been experiencing other physical sensations linked with anxiety (Stomach tightness, chest pain and dodgy vision) which freaks me out a little, although i don't notice the sensations when i am busy, just when i have a lot of free time on my hands!
I guess i just need to properly relax. I know these are all from my anxiety, because i am a healthy 19 year old (recently lost 3st in weight, which is around 42 pounds) I jog, well did jog on a daily basis every morning with my iPod listening to Clark's Totems Flare non-stop before i experienced high levels of anxiety!
As a bipolar, obsessive compulsive disorder and fibro myalgia victim I suffer from both depression, anxiety and constant pains all over. So I know where you're coming from. These bouts of anxiety come and go. So just hang in there buddy. It will soon pass and you'll feel right as rain.
turquoise70 wrote:my entire life thus far has been one big fucking apology
SORRY EVERYONE
SORRY
I WAS JUST PASSING THROUGH, MY BAD, MY BAD GUYS I'M SORRY
I'LL BE DEAD SOMEDAY, NO BIGGIE, SORRY GUYS, TOTES DIDN'T MEAN TO GET IN YOUR WAY
god, fuck you all. fuck you all. fuck you. seriously. eat my fucking dick. i get so sick. i get so goddamn sick. some days, i just want to go completely balls out and do/be what i really enjoy totally unapologetically, and just fuck up whoever's day it happens to ruin by my simply doing that, and just let it happen, and say hey, too bad, fuck you, maybe it's your turn to live an entire life of apology.
turquoise70 wrote:i just want to go completely balls out and do/be what i really enjoy totally unapologetically.
turquoise70 wrote:my entire life thus far has been one big fucking apology
Twoism-ist wrote:turquoise70 wrote:my entire life thus far has been one big fucking apology
Too true. These past few weeks it's been nothing but helplessness and guilt with my family. I really wish I could just say "it's over" and leave without saying anything, but I can't. So, I continue saying "sorry" to my sister who "cares" about me because I don't appreciate her intervention in my life. I continue to say "sorry" to my dad when he complains about having to put up with my "attitude", which is what he describes my loner behavior and anxiety as. Then I continue to say "sorry" once more to him when I do things or think a certain way about things that does not please him, and so when I decide to give him space by evading him, I have to apologize once again for not spending enough time with him. SORRY DAD, I'M SORRY I GAVE YOU GRAY, BALDING HAIR AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND EXTRA WEIGHT. no really, i'll just stop existing now, hope it makes you feel better
I want to cram all my belongings in a truck and move somewhere without saying anything. But I can't. My feet are cemented into a block of concrete while I continue to dodge rotten fruit flying from all directions.
My mother is really the only one who admits when she's wrong, and she's the only one who directly goes up to me and says "I'm sorry Patrick" when she hurts me in any way. God Bless her soul.
Dude, just move out.Twoism-ist wrote:turquoise70 wrote:my entire life thus far has been one big fucking apology
Too true. These past few weeks it's been nothing but helplessness and guilt with my family. I really wish I could just say "it's over" and leave without saying anything, but I can't. So, I continue saying "sorry" to my sister who "cares" about me because I don't appreciate her intervention in my life. I continue to say "sorry" to my dad when he complains about having to put up with my "attitude", which is what he describes my loner behavior and anxiety as. Then I continue to say "sorry" once more to him when I do things or think a certain way about things that does not please him, and so when I decide to give him space by evading him, I have to apologize once again for not spending enough time with him. SORRY DAD, I'M SORRY I GAVE YOU GRAY, BALDING HAIR AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND EXTRA WEIGHT. no really, i'll just stop existing now, hope it makes you feel better
I want to cram all my belongings in a truck and move somewhere without saying anything. But I can't. My feet are cemented into a block of concrete while I continue to dodge rotten fruit flying from all directions.
My mother is really the only one who admits when she's wrong, and she's the only one who directly goes up to me and says "I'm sorry Patrick" when she hurts me in any way. God Bless her soul.
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