Depression

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Telepath
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Didn't help me but I suppose it depends on the person. I've heard of some people having succes with them.
I prefer books intended to inform, rather then help.

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Nova Scotia Robot
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Cupz wrote:Didn't help me but I suppose it depends on the person. I've heard of some people having succes with them.
I prefer books intended to inform, rather then help.


I very much agree with this. Self help books can be dangerous if viewed as infallible or without deep thought/consideration on how it's logic works. No human is infallible (Sorry mr pope, but it's true).
Gather information, process it and think about how it could apply to you specifically. A LOT of theory in psychology is generalized. Our situations as humans are so unique that so many and so much of those theories can be rendered completely useless.

My advice is to take everything with a grain of salt. Minimize making assumptions. Do your own research. Do not rely upon any other humans understanding as well as not concluding your own is 100% correct. Consider all angles, including outside your own experience, while taking into consideration relativity and difference in understanding of any given idea/thought. Consider everything a possibility, no matter how remote or rare it could be, until it is proven otherwise.
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Sherbet Head
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Self help books only really help if you can reflect on the concepts and project them through the way you uniquely think. Rarely you're learning new things, but you're being reminded. Personally learning aspects of cognition from a more realistic understanding has helped me more, especially when "meditating" on it (I never meditate in the traditional sense, but I daydream in a way that I would definitely consider meditative). Studying your behaviour with things like watching your thoughts, being able to spot when you are falling down an emotional cliff or a big snowball is forming, are all very useful. Get used to the architecture of your thoughts, and you'll learn to not bump into corners or walk into dead ends. You eventually can optimize what's going on in your mental highways. I didn't think this was possible, but coming out of a very serious couple of years of bad depression, I'm finally getting it.

Having had pretty severe trauma and 5 near death experiences in the past year pushed things to their very limit. I was being reckless most of the time, or with legitimate injury, but nonetheless those are hard things to adapt to. But I've done it, I finally go to work every day not caring about the bigger picture/the time being spent because there's so much of it, and I can be where I want to mentally, I don't have to follow poor suggestions that are just easier to take.

Basically, walking into and out of life multiple times has really changed things. And no, I have not found God, nor will I haha. I can enjoy life's unanswered questions now without panicking over there being no solution. I still can't sleep at night, but I'm working on it (same with general anxiety, which I successfully have programmed into not manifesting itself into thoughts or specific ideas-- unfortunately it's just a constant high level of stimulation going on with no real reason).

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Sherbet Head
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Welp. Figure I'd bump this just because I don't deserve to let myself forget about this.

Few days ago I went nuts. My wife and I argued. I was severely depressed, and that built our argument to horrible places. We contemplated splitting etc etc. Sad shit.

I became very dissociated and very hateful of myself. Bad combination. I turned my stove tops on and placed various objects onto them. Then I used tongs and when they were red hot and branded myself. My arm and leg is pretty fucked. The only good thing from that is that I have a hexagon shaped scar from the nut I heated up...

Then I grabbed a knife, thankfully quite dull,and slashed across the branded arm, the other arm, legs, and up my ribs and chest.

Through all of this I felt nothing. Then I realized what I'd done. Apparently I sent photos to everyone. My brother was about to call an ambulance on me but I negotiated. So I've been on 'house arrest' at my mom's house ever since.

I might lose my job too. I was unable to function one day and told to get the fuck out of there.

Shit hit the fan for me pretty quick. Everyone thinks I'm on drugs again but I'm actually just crazy sometimes. Dissociative disorders do fucked up things to people.

My back is all cut up too, Guh. I decided to strip a wire and use it as a whip.

I really lost it. Fucking hell. Glad my demon spared my life this time.

Dayvan Cowboy
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Spenner wrote:
I really lost it. Fucking hell. Glad my demon spared my life this time.


Medicate medicate medicate. People who are on the lower end of these spectrums tend to benefit more from therapy etc but it sounds like you had somewhat of a psychotic episode which truly does need medicating. I gave myself a concussion from a borderline psychotic episode a few months back and decided to put my foot down and find a medication that works, it is a lengthy process but once you have found the one, your life will change dramatically.

I am really sorry to hear what you went through, I can envision it in so much detail. You deserve better than for your mind to treat you that way.

Telepath
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You are in my prayers, spenner. That's bloody aweful. I'm tearing up. I hope you can see and feel love and warmth again soon!

And, come on valotonin, you are not a doctor. Spenner needs profesional help and supervision. Not everything is solved with a pill.

Dayvan Cowboy
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Cupz wrote:You are in my prayers, spenner. That's bloody aweful. I'm tearing up. I hope you can see and feel love and warmth again soon!

And, come on valotonin, you are not a doctor. Spenner needs profesional help and supervision. Not everything is solved with a pill.


You are right. As my own issues where only ever solved with medication I have the tendency to apply it to others.

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Sherbet Head
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We all have a hole we can slot into, square peg or not. Everyones different. It's been the most important learning experiences of my life, this past year, dealing with the darkest pits of the mind. And I get reminders that there's more than that... and I can't help but break a smile. Your own perceptions can intoxicated you so strongly. Maybe that's why it's hard in life to walk a straight line at times eh. Cheers friends, much love.

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Dayvan Cowboy
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I can get your pain, the mad shit I made durig my relationship with my loved one...Still the last time I was coming to help a girlfriend which ex was cutting his hands with the knife in the kitchen, regret I didn't ktfo him...
Be nice to the girls, or just leave
\o

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Eagle Minded
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The Telepathic Kid wrote:how do you guys feel about self help books?


They are necessary and helpful to make you understand the basic dysfunction of thought processes on an intellectual level. But other than that you need real experience (meditation and awareness of thought processes in daily life) to actually understand, know and experience the truth to set yourself free from misery. Took me a while to find out, I thought I could just read and think my way out of depression ;) Real realisation are based on experience, and thinking/understanding (with your thoughts) is not the same as experiencing. You can read 1000 books about chocolate, but without tasting chocolate you will not really know how it tastes. That is why people sometimes don't believe in self-help books. But there are several very well written books that nail it down perfectly, the rest is up to your willpower to change and put that philosophy into practice.

"A belief may be comforting. Only through your own experience, however, does it become liberating." - Eckhart Tolle

There is a way, for everyone. Don't let them win! :twisted:

I actually wrote a really long piece of text, but then Twoism logged me out and I lost everything, argh! :lol:
I'll post some of my ideas and findings later.

Hang in there people :) Realise that there is no good and bad, only good and less good!
"I do actually believe that there are powers in music that are almost supernatural. I think you actually manipulate people with music, and that is definitely what we are trying to do."

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Sherbet Head
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Have faith that I'm safe,

but I did 20 doses of acid last night,

Walked until I couldn't

Had a time with myself... Or rather, with every(any)one

Anyhow I'm stupid and took a 20 strip. Underwhelming as it was, it did some things... good ones I might say.

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Sherbet Head
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Had no idea I posted about it already-- let's just say my depression is cured for awhile Bros.

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Man - It's been an interesting last month. Anxiety & panic almost every single day for three weeks. I'm the type of anxious person who has his bad moments, but normally I can channel that energy and turn it into something good. I thrive on a little bit of anxiety more than I'm hindered from it. But, this month? This is the first time I've felt almost hopeless. It's been so bad that I lamented to my doctor over how stressed out I've been and she prescribed an antidepressant. I took it once, had almost all of the side effects, then stopped and reevaluated what was going on.

I've felt dizzy, out of focus, dazed, and in a fog, and the uncertainty of that was causing all of this. Six doctor's offices, one ER trip, and three weeks later, I remembered that I bumped my head twice and this is all actually a diagnosed mild/moderate concussion. My anxiety and panic have lessened, though they still creep in every now and then (not at full force, thankfully) and now that all of this is explained via the concussion I can put it into perspective.

I started physical therapy this week, but has anyone ever dealt with this kind of thing before? Any advice?

Valotonin? (Applause for your search to find a medication that works for you, by the way. Stay focused!)

It's horrible. I'm such an active person and I can't drive, I'm off work, I'm staying at my parents so they can take me to and from doctor's appointments (I live with my boyfriend and miss being home), stopped most of the promotional work on the 2020k record that's coming out in two weeks, cancelled concerts I was planning, can't listen to music at moderate volumes, reading is difficult, and am supposed to abstain from long use of TV/Phone/computer during the day. Most things I love to do during the day have been stripped away..What...do I do? Any help would be wonderful.

Thankfully, this is a mild case so I should return to normal. But, there's not enough known about concussions to be able to give a definitive recovery timeline to anyone. Though, my neurologist says I'm doing very well.

Also, something that should benefit the entire thread in here: my neurologist told me that magnesium oil works great for helping stabilize mood. I'm all for trying natural solutions so I bought a bottle and am on day two. I'll check back in here in a couple of weeks to let everyone know how it's going.
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747Music wrote:dont go up there!!! the music is down by the truck!
Forest_Opal wrote:Mexicolas a spooky person.
Josh wrote:Sometimes I would pay money for 1:46 of silence.

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Good luck my friend. Sounds frightening. Rooting for you!
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Slow down...

Telepath
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Hang in there 2020. And I hear you about channeling that anxiety into something productive, I'm very much like that too.

I've been working really hard last few weeks, on videos, games, songs, pretty much non-stop except for sleep and the occasional chat and it's starting to hurt. I know about burn-outs and I'm trying to ease down but when I do my mind starts racing like a madman and all I want is to finish this or that or work on blabla. And the futility of it all... I get nothing in return except another product on the mountain of products. It doesn't help that this month is almost impossible financially and I got about 5 euros left for the next couple of weeks. Rice and beans again I guess. I feel like that guy in the demented cartoon movie where my car's going "do you want to crash?".

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New Seed
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I've battled depression my whole conscious life. I've tried medication, which helped for a short period, but honestly I think what has kept me together for the past year is my foray into the occult, meditation, and other spiritual practices, couple by my unstoppably supportive and loving partner.

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OCCULT?

Also, thanks Cupz and Mexi for the support. You two are forever my Rocks of Twoism. There's a festival in Pittsburgh that I had tickets for that I'm missing out on because of this. Thievery Corporation is playing as headliner with a 20 piece band and Orbital is DJing an after party at my favorite museum. I'm so upset I can't go. I still can't do anything 2 months in but basically rest. :( Concussions are the worst.
BUY MY MUSIC AND SIGN ME: Twenty20k.com

747Music wrote:dont go up there!!! the music is down by the truck!
Forest_Opal wrote:Mexicolas a spooky person.
Josh wrote:Sometimes I would pay money for 1:46 of silence.

Telepath
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That sucks 2020k, you're missing out. I hear cuntcushions are not particularly pleasant.

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LOL It took me a few seconds to realize what you typed. They're horrible. I have a two page symptom list I'm bringing in to my appointments tomorrow and saying "It's been two months...this is insane...please figure out what approach we need to take to heal this." Cross your fingers one of the two doctors I see comes up with a plan. I know the majority of concussion healing just comes from resting and riding it out, but there has to be more that can be done. This was such a horrible, frustrating weekend. My boyfriend came to visit and I cried for like three hours because it was so hard to focus. He's been a trooper through all of this. :(

I know the majority of symptoms fade around the third month and I'm only a little over month 2 but I keep reading from people in support groups for post-concussion syndrome that they've been living with their symptoms sometimes for over a DECADE. There's no way that can be me...I'm far too active of a person to spend a decade of my life sitting in bed avoiding music, reading, my job, and my friends and family.

There's a laundry list of albums I need to catch up on....I tried to listen to the new MIA one and lasted about 2 minutes into it before my head decided to say "Oh you're trying to listen to music? HERE HAVE A HEADACHE." :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
BUY MY MUSIC AND SIGN ME: Twenty20k.com

747Music wrote:dont go up there!!! the music is down by the truck!
Forest_Opal wrote:Mexicolas a spooky person.
Josh wrote:Sometimes I would pay money for 1:46 of silence.

Dayvan Cowboy
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2020k I have only just recovered from a concussion (self induced and an incredibly stupid decision) and all I can say is that it really honestly goes away and the negative mindsets and anxiety you find yourself facing will all be returned to normal once your brain has had a chance to repair some of the broken connections left after your tbi (traumatic brain injury). I thought I was dying and kept taking myself into a&e fearing the worst because the pain and anxiety attacks made it feel like something was seriously wrong but in reality the mind can just be in a bad why whilst it is trying to heal its self, it dedicates a lot of its resources and energy to repairing its self and that can leave the rest of it feeling really unbalanced. It sucks that you have to miss something that sounds so enjoyable but getting lots of rest and lots of food will quicken the recovery process. Mine only lasted five months because my partner's mother had passed away and I had to be on call 24/7 to help her through that, taking a lot of painkillers to try and mask the fact that I was actually really unwell. If I had been in bed I feel it would have healed in a couple of months tops. Just sharing my experience with it so that you can take valuable information from it and apply it to your situation. I hope it helps man. I feel for you.

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