So I'm partially in tears again. I can't help but feel I betrayed a friend of mine even though there was a lot of circumstance. I should have fucking listened.
Cupz, wherever you are, I hope you are directed back here at some point enough to see this. Someone previously noted you apparently made your way to the UK and elsewhere, so maybe you're in contact with a few here still. I don't know. I just don't know where you are, how to find you (as you wish it to be, for almost everyone, understandably) and if I'll hear from you again unless you reach out to me. I'll make this message clear right here as such with enough time having gone by that I no longer care.
I love you. I loved every moment we spent together. I cherish our friendship on a level I cannot put into words. You took me into your home, and more importantly, into your heart. I reciprocated that. I will never forget the time we spent together. You and your S/O are/were/I still hope, but if not, still acknowledge as a beautiful couple that could not have been more compassionate to anyone compared to what I was treated to.
I want you to know, of all reasons, I believe you'll understand my lapse of communication prior to your cutoff from the internet: I fell in love with someone I'd known for so long but never seen in person. It occupied so much of my life. I felt bad disregarding everyone. Every day. It's not an excuse, but I think you'll understand. I wanted to tell you when I finally got to talk to you again. In any case, if you ever are forwarded here or find yourself back here, know those two things. I am sorry for leaving when you clearly needed someone to be part of a team and at the same time, I couldn't control the emotions that now lead me in life, same as you have surely felt.
This is a random thread post if ever I've seen one, so don't change that, though if anyone is still in contact with the guy, let me know.
P.S. - your 2001 thing was lame and you should come back and do something less lame