Insults

[Treefingers]

You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter than you. He must have taught you everything you know.

Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!

[A_Northern_Soul]

"face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"

[saurus]

You're all a bunch of fags

classic

[Pantheon]

"I'm not a huge fan of yours."

or, and old school quip:

"If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt."
"Thou art a dull and muddy-mettled rascal."

[Mexicola]

"Thou art a dull and muddy-mettled rascal."

Sir, you are a cad, a bounder and a common rapscallion. I do not care for the cut of your jib.

[Seeya_Later]

You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter than you. He must have taught you everything you know.

Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!

Then the prophecies were true!

[TheSilenceEchoes]

you are so fucked up. you need help
any other guy would've left you by now. you should be thankful i'm still here
i'm so jealous of my room mate, who can have sex with anyone he wants
you are ugly
i wish i never was married. i wish i never had children
the weekends are so much better when you're not here

and countless times: you are too sensitive. you are strange. i'm ashamed of you


just the first ones that come to mind.

[TheSilenceEchoes]

"Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential." Janet Fitch - White Oleander

[Techboy]

there's a manager at my work who is nicknamed "fat controller" which is hilarious
i think if i really mean it i say reprobate. where i am from, as many others have attested to, cunt is not offensive in the slightest. single words which i like are "fud" and "twat". "dobber" is hilarious so nobody takes it seriously hahaha.
i think "fat fuck" has a really nice consonance about it. v aggressive
some popular local phrases which wont be as funny without the reference:
"you're as bent as the back-road to shotts" and "yer maws dirtier than the back of a hutchy bus"
that last one still makes me giggle

[The Friendly Stranger]

there's a manager at my work who is nicknamed "fat controller" which is hilarious
i think if i really mean it i say reprobate. where i am from, as many others have attested to, cunt is not offensive in the slightest. single words which i like are "fud" and "twat". "dobber" is hilarious so nobody takes it seriously hahaha.
i think "fat fuck" has a really nice consonance about it. v aggressive
some popular local phrases which wont be as funny without the reference:
"you're as bent as the back-road to shotts" and "yer maws dirtier than the back of a hutchy bus"
that last one still makes me giggle

Anything said with the right tone in a scottish accent makes for a great insult.

[Julian Candy]

One by Greg Giraldo that always makes me laugh.

"You have the sex appeal of a school bus fire!"

[kyriakos]

you are about as worthless as a mcflurry lid

[saurus]

I hope some big fat sweaty man comes over pins you to the ground and takes a dump inside your mouth

[Orbited insanitarium]

"I have a stronger connection with 2G Internet than I do with you."

Many an evening spent coming up with such a quip. Consider yourself burned!!

[rodox_head]

I'm a fan of the pejorative term type of insult (e.g. "You (x)!")

for example:
-Crouton
-Giblet Head
-Captain Fantastic
-Ramburglar
-Turdburglar
-Crotchburglar (they burgle your crotch)
-Weenus
-Meatbag
-Meatball
-Dilbert
-Dingus
-Assdick
-Fuckass
-Fool
-Foolish Fool
-Clownboat
-Tub A Fuck

[mechanismj]

Ol' Cheese Britches.

[rodox_head]

"Back o ya neck look like a packa hot dogs."
"Do ya shower in Doo Doo?"
"You like my asshole, always holdin' up shit!"
-Orange 12, AKA: Twee Lvey (GTA: SA)

[rodox_head]

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[Orbited insanitarium]

Words of Rik Mayall never fail, spelling mistakes and all...

"Fick urf you sad, pathtic winker!"

[rodox_head]

"Your mother should be beaten with an oar."
-Helga Phugly