Joebot Kill wrote:it started when i brought this up to her. i asked her if she felt like things were drifting apart, she said "no i didnt notice" and we said we could work through this. and a few days later i get a call "i was thinking about what you said. i think we should break up"
really? i thought we agreed that we would work it out. she doesnt really want to talk any more from that point on.
Eesh, it's actually eerie to me how familiar that sounds. With my girlfriend, I expressed some worries that we were growing apart/I hadn't been seeing a lot of her lately, and she assured me that things were better than ever since after any conflict we resolved our relationship grew stronger. A week or two later, all that talk about tenacity and perseverance and optimism flew out the window without a trace.
She "shut off" from me, too - wouldn't talk to me except when she had prepared a rant that I guess she felt she 'owed' me after bottling up her feelings. she had this passive aggressive thing where she would insist that everything was cool, then explode at me as if I had been oppressing her like a tyrant - not that i mean to cultivate the illusion that i was a perfect boyfriend, I mean I have a menagerie of my own faults when it comes to relationships and they can be really burdensome on my significant other, but the point is I don't believe i was guilty of what
she was accusing me of.
Maybe that's too much detail, sorry. At any rate, I've become distanced enough from the events to examine her and that relationship as a whole as close to objectively as possible, and I can say with some relief that I'm better off not being with that particular girl.
My best advice is to let go when you feel the yearnings for closeness at their fiercest but don't have any prospective relationships lined up - when you're alone and want to be with someone, the best thing is, I think, to just chill out and focus on yourself and don't obsess over it, you know, try to be content with what you have and count your blessings so to speak. Every time I realize this, within a few weeks I suddenly become aware of a girl in my life who is interested in me - usually one I never would have expected, even. I recently hooked up with my best friend, which is weird, but we'll see where it goes eh?