Relationships

[Guido]

Most of the men are very insecure, pretending that they are someone else. They act a lot and they are possessive. And the ones who are self-confident they are usualy arrogant egoistic bastards caring only about themselves. Well balanced, simple and intelligent persons are very very rare. In my experience.

When I tell them to be what they really are they get offended. Unneccessary though. All I need is simplicity. Haven't found a decent normal guy so far. Stopped trying as well. I feel sick of lame pickup phrases and believe me, they do it the same way all over europe. The most popular airport one is "did it hurt?"... "what?"... "when you fell from the sky"... give me a break. or in the pub... "apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"... Vomit time!

Home sweet home, I'm going nowhere on the new year's eve, I'll be with a few my close friends and watch movies and play videogames.

You shouldn't be so stubborn. I've heard that story from so many women. I (as a heterosexual male) run into kind, decent, normal guys all the time for some reason. But once I introduce them to my female friends, they find them too nerdy or think they lack sexual charisma or something. They surely exist Magi, you should just try to open your eyes and look for guys in other places than pubs, or make up your mind.

[Magi]

Most of the men are very insecure, pretending that they are someone else. They act a lot and they are possessive. And the ones who are self-confident they are usualy arrogant egoistic bastards caring only about themselves. Well balanced, simple and intelligent persons are very very rare. In my experience.

When I tell them to be what they really are they get offended. Unneccessary though. All I need is simplicity. Haven't found a decent normal guy so far. Stopped trying as well. I feel sick of lame pickup phrases and believe me, they do it the same way all over europe. The most popular airport one is "did it hurt?"... "what?"... "when you fell from the sky"... give me a break. or in the pub... "apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"... Vomit time!

Home sweet home, I'm going nowhere on the new year's eve, I'll be with a few my close friends and watch movies and play videogames.

You shouldn't be so stubborn. I've heard that story from so many women. I (as a heterosexual male) run into kind, decent, normal guys all the time for some reason. But once I introduce them to my female friends, they find them too nerdy or think they lack sexual charisma or something. They surely exist Magi, you should just try to open your eyes and look for guys in other places than pubs, or make up your mind.

Thanks for advice but different people react differently with different persons. And men do not like witty, intelligent and good looking women in combo, they somehow feel threatened for some weird reason they want to dominate because of that. And I just want love and honesty, nothing else. But once you are with your mr pefect, he got paranoid for god knows what reasons, trying to find your "mistakes". I suppose I'm just not lucky.

(and no I'm not a pub girl, I hate pubs, and don't have much time for that type of "relaxation", I prefer nature instead)

[turquoise70]

well, when you're a rare kind of person (for whatever reason) it takes a rare kind of person to be a good match-up for you. it's just the way things are i think. makes the reward so much sweeter though.

[bleak.]

i find it almost impossible to come across women who i find attractive and intelligent. i suppose a problem with my ex is that we were slowly becoming two different people, whereas in the start we were very similar. most women here date the footballers, spend their days in the pub or applying make-up. saying this, the male population of my town do exactly the same. i spend far too much time on my own these days..!

[Mulc]

Yeah, I know how it feels, man. But I have to say that this is a wound that requires only the time medicine.
It takes time to heal that kind of wounds. Believe me, don't try any "I'll screw a few girls and it'll be over" or "I'll kill everybody in my family and will be fine" stuff. Just wait. Love is torture. But love is Beauty as well. (i hop i dn't mike any mist8kz)

[turquoise70]

U maed ALL th msk4kez, Mulc. Welcome to the forum.

[Cupz]

...men do not like witty, intelligent and good looking women in combo, they somehow feel threatened for some weird reason they want to dominate because of that. And I just want love and honesty, nothing else. But once you are with your mr pefect, he got paranoid for god knows what reasons, trying to find your "mistakes". I suppose I'm just not lucky.

I think you're being a bit sexist here. I for one would like a girl you where describing.
I hate it when women act as if all men are the same.

I don't drink alcohol
I hate sports
I love poetry
I love romance
and I don't want sex before getting married...

...somehow people don't believe me becouse I'm male.
Fuck that.

I wish I was a lesbian

[Magi]

and I don't want sex before getting married...

Oh no!

[turquoise70]

Maybe I'm just tired of the aggression involved in seeking relationships. My personality is such that I'm not a "social game player" or a "conquest-seeker" or any of the major ways of interpreting the interplay of the sexes. I'm a laid back guy and the best thing for me is probably a laid back girl who doesn't desire to be hunted down, nor does she desire to hunt -me- down. It's a fallacy that all interactions between men and women have to be characterized as a battle or a hunt or an amusing, tricky social 'game' in which you must best your opponent/victim.

[hexagon son]

BNR, i know your over 18, so, go out pubbing and clubbing with mates, chat with women, don't be afraid of being "on the pull" a little bit,maybe have a short rebound relationship based on mutual sex. have some fun, try not to latch on to the first woman that gives you attention (i'm a sucker for this). after a bit these feelings will wear off somewhat, but not completely. you will find yourself pining after your ex until you find someone special. that's what happened to me, and now i'm married and have a kid on the way (i've been tricked!! LOL).

i was my ex for almost 8 years, we were engaged and drifted apart. the funny thing is, i knew for about 4 years or so that we weren't really meant for each other, but sometimes when your comfortable with the situation, even if it isn't what you want, it feels safer than the unknown.

as i said, surround yourself with people who love you, dont blame yourself too much, and have some fun...






...you remember how to have fun, dont you?

(GOOD LUCK)

[Mulc]

U maed ALL th msk4kez, Mulc. Welcome to the forum.

Thnxks.

[Twoist]

Just broke up with my girlfriend who I was in a 3 year relationship with and it hurts like hell, pretty much don't know what to do with myself. Any advice anyone can give?

Been thinking about this one a lot. My 2008 has been deeply unpleasant for pretty much the exact same reason, but only in the past few weeks have things really begun to look up. Time has been the biggest healer, as has distance from my ex, and not involving myself with the mutual circle of friends that we have. Counselling also helped, as did getting fit at the gym and keeping myself busy with new things to stimulate my mind. Recently I've had a bit of a personal epiphany about stuff..so much of getting over someone is about learning to be happy with yourself, learning to be your own person again. Three years is a long time and you need to give yourself an extended period of grief to recover. That's what it is. Grieving.

And whatever you do, don't throw away the good memories from those three years. Keep them stored somehow, and then when you're ready, you'll smile about them. Seriously.

(sorry BNR.."Cliches R Us" and all that - but I do hope you begin to feel better about things in the new year..take care)

[Fredd-E]

and I don't want sex before getting married...

Oh no!

don't want OR can't have

[Magi]

and I don't want sex before getting married...

Oh no!

don't want OR can't have

neither

[saturdayindex]

...men do not like witty, intelligent and good looking women in combo, they somehow feel threatened for some weird reason they want to dominate because of that. And I just want love and honesty, nothing else. But once you are with your mr pefect, he got paranoid for god knows what reasons, trying to find your "mistakes". I suppose I'm just not lucky.

and I don't want sex before getting married...

I've talked to a lot of guys and girls about this. The consensus seems to be that staying a virgin until marriage is good for your heart. Many of the girls i've talked to say they wish they could be virgins again. And some of the guys too. For example, I know this one dude, he's slept with at least 40 women, he's a total pimp and player, but in the quiet hours when he's alone he says it's not worth it, he just wants more and more and it's never enough to satiate his overfed sexual appetite... Sad huh? And he sacrifices huge areas of his life just to get off. It's all he lives for. Funny how the things that feel the greatest are often real life-suckers in the end.

As for me and women, well, I stumbled upon a real nice girl, very pretty, very intelligent, and she has a wonderful heart. I think of myself as a bit of a lucky fluke, because in women (and maybe men too?) hotness seems directly proportional to heartlessness.

Makes me wonder if the human heart/soul is somehow meant to be monogomous, spiritually if not physically. In the end, I think everyone could be happy if we all stopped looking across the fence to the grass we deem greener.

[Cupz]

...men do not like witty, intelligent and good looking women in combo, they somehow feel threatened for some weird reason they want to dominate because of that. And I just want love and honesty, nothing else. But once you are with your mr pefect, he got paranoid for god knows what reasons, trying to find your "mistakes". I suppose I'm just not lucky.

and I don't want sex before getting married...

I've talked to a lot of guys and girls about this. The consensus seems to be that staying a virgin until marriage is good for your heart. Many of the girls i've talked to say they wish they could be virgins again. And some of the guys too. For example, I know this one dude, he's slept with at least 40 women, he's a total pimp and player, but in the quiet hours when he's alone he says it's not worth it, he just wants more and more and it's never enough to satiate his overfed sexual appetite... Sad huh? And he sacrifices huge areas of his life just to get off. It's all he lives for. Funny how the things that feel the greatest are often real life-suckers in the end.

As for me and women, well, I stumbled upon a real nice girl, very pretty, very intelligent, and she has a wonderful heart. I think of myself as a bit of a lucky fluke, because in women (and maybe men too?) hotness seems directly proportional to heartlessness.

Makes me wonder if the human heart/soul is somehow meant to be monogomous, spiritually if not physically. In the end, I think everyone could be happy if we all stopped looking across the fence to the grass we deem greener.

Beautifull words brotha!

[saturdayindex]

Yeah, I know how it feels, man. But I have to say that this is a wound that requires only the time medicine.
It takes time to heal that kind of wounds. Believe me, don't try any "I'll screw a few girls and it'll be over" or "I'll kill everybody in my family and will be fine" stuff. Just wait. Love is torture. But love is Beauty as well. (i hop i dn't mike any mist8kz)

Screwing around after having your heart broken is the best! At least better than turning into a cokehead.

The worst thing is having your heart torn, you dont know which way to go, you don't even know what you feel anymore... id rather have my heart broken any day.

EDIT: Wasn't in my right mind when I wrote this, I don't recommend just screwing around. And I also wouldn't like to have my heart broken any day.

[saturdayindex]

Just some advice. Don't date:

- Strippers
- Crack whores
- Private escorts

And you should be A-OK.

[Vexille]

Hey Retro I know your post is a couple months old but whatever loss you feel don't let it affect your life, goals, school etc. Getcher priorities straight. There are more than one ways to feel satisfied and happy, being in a relationship is one, accomplishing your goals is another.

My last serious relationship was about 3 years ago and it lasted for almost 3 years. It was certainly upsetting when it ended but you gotta move on. I am still extremely skeptical about dating these days, but most women just want to mess around and it seems all superficial to me so I don't bother.

[macquarie]

I think Im done with relationships. Im pretty sick and tired of being led on and lied to.
They tell you one thing and say they mean it and the next day...

I dont know what it is i do wrong but the fucked up thing is Ive attempted suicide over this bullshit. Not worth it i suppose. Id wish I could just completely forget about her. But its hard.
I do think all that is needed is time, but Ive given it enough time and still feel miserable every once in a while.